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WHATS WRONG WITH HIM? OR IS IT ME?

LAST NIGHT ME AND MY HUSBAND HAD A BAD FIGHT OVER SOMETHING SO SMALL. FOR SOME REASON HE JUST GOT ON MY NERVES YESTERDAY ALL DAY AND I KNEW BY THE END OF THE NIGHT WE BOTH WERE GOING TO BE INTO IT. WHEN HE GOT OUT THE SHOWER HE JUST LEFT THE BATHROOM ALL MESSY AND HIS WET TOWEL ON THE FLOOR AND DIRTY CLOTHES AND I WAS UPSET WHEN HE LEFT THE TOLET SEAT UP AND I FEEL IN IT THAT WHAT WAS THE LAST STRAW. I ASKED HIM TO CLEAN UP BEHIND HIMSELF AND HE YELLS AT ME AND I YELL BACK AND IM PREGNANT I SHOULDNT HAVE TO GO THREW WITH HIS MESS. I CRIED LAST NIGHT HE JUST TURNED OVER AND SAID" WOULD YOU BE A LITTLE QUITE I GOTTAH GET UP EARLY IN THE MORNING". I WAS MAD AS HECK AND TO TIRED TO FIGHT WITH HIM FROM MAKING THAT STUPID REMARK. WE FIGHT ALL THE TIME AND I DONT THINK WE ARE RADY TO PARENTS ITS NOT JUST HIM ITS BOTH OF US WE JUST DONT GET ALONG AND I DONT WANT TO BRING A BABY INTO THIS. HE THINKS THE BABY ISNT HIS ANYWAYS.

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 1:51 AM on Apr. 2, 2009 in Pregnancy

Answers (6)
  • Try geting marriage cousiling before baby comes and its not to late fight for your love.. No baby should have to come into this world with mess like that this world is already enough to deal with...I think its hard as a baby that why you come out crying as a baby.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:54 AM on Apr. 2, 2009

  • wow not thats where we are diffrent i would SNAP out.... i just found out that my husband had sex with my bestfriend and now shes pregnant... i dont talk to either one and really dont care we have 2 kids and he just got a paternity test on both of them because he wanted to try and turn it around on me.. but anyway if ur not looking forward to leaving him... talk to him... ask him whats going on.. dont stress ur pregnant thats the last thing u need to do
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:13 AM on Apr. 2, 2009

  • You can't change others. So...change yourself.

    If you truly belive you are not ready to be a mom, get ready! pend the rest of your pregnancy chasing maturity. Summons all the resources of your faith, emotions and mind to be the mom your baby will deserve...or put the child up for adoption.

    Clearly, there is so much about you we don't and can't know. So, generally, being young and inexperienced often leaves us feeling stuck at these moments in life. Your husband's mistrust of you is an indication that serious work is needed on your relationship. However, even if he is unable or unwilling to put in the hard work to restore the marriage, you need to educte and motivate yourself to grow as a person. Read. Surround your self with mature women. Find comfort in being with family. Take some classes if you can. Attend a church in your neighborhood. Talk with older women who have been happily married for years. Learn
    Angebor

    Answer by Angebor at 3:08 AM on Apr. 2, 2009

  • Well, I think you were both wrong in the situation you described. I mean, being pregnant doesn't mean you are incapable of cleaning. If you usually clean up behind him, you can't suddenly bitch at him for things he normally does and not expect him to be annoyed about it. It's just the bathroom. You could be very nice and ask him to clean up. He also shouldn't have just yelled at you, and his remark about sleep wasn't nice at all, but he was probably frustrated.

    You both need to sit down and talk about things, seriously. You may not be ready to be parents, but it IS about to happen. So you need to evaluate your marriage, your relationship, and how much each of you is willing to work to keep things going. Having a baby is TOUGH. My husband and I had been together for almost 4 years before we had Becka (married for 4 months though) and having a child put a HUGE strain on our relationship. It got bad, and we seriously considered
    celticreverie

    Answer by celticreverie at 8:45 AM on Apr. 2, 2009

  • (cont) Divorce. We had a lot to work through and we did. You can easily lose yourself in parenthood and neglect being a spouse (both of you). I don't blame Becka, but as prepared as we thought, we really weren't.

    I suggest counseling if you can do it, or even try and have a nice talk. No yelling, fighting, etc, and if you don't think face to face would work because of hormones, try writing a letter? That helped a lot when I couldn't even face my husband because I was so hurt.

    As for him not believing the baby is his, that's another issue. I hope that he doesn't have a reason to believe this and I also hope you can make him see that it is (if it is). I don't know you, or your husband, but it does sound like you have some issues to work through.

    Hugs and good luck!
    celticreverie

    Answer by celticreverie at 8:48 AM on Apr. 2, 2009

  • LEARN, yes. I have been married forever! My motto, is NEVER go to bed mad. When I get irritated at my husband, I immediately apologize and he does too. I recently found a pillowcase that had a saying on it. "Always kiss me good night." You are bringing a child into the world, it's time to be the bigger person. And if you can you both need some counseling. I just think, that life is way too short to be fighting all the time. And TALK to your DH man to man and tell him you want to be good parents and all the fighting is going to do is make hurt feelings. One of the earlier posts said to grow as a person and that is a must. Go to church, meet some mothers and talk to them. They will be happy to talk to or listen to you. You can PM me if you need to talk. I don't mind at all. Don't be afraid to ask for help. I will say a prayer for you both. God Bless you.
    POMMOM335

    Answer by POMMOM335 at 8:50 AM on Apr. 2, 2009

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