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Trying to get him to understand is impossible..

The time is coming in a little over a week where I expect my first baby. I'm very excited but he is just making it difficult to deal with. He is acting 'mean' these days.

Somedays I can barely do stuff and I get so tired. He hurts himself and expects me to do everything for him,I dont mind it but it's like he doesnt appreciate it and it's getting to the point where it's effecting my ability to hold my head up.He'll ask me if I want anything from the kitchen and I'll say "No, I'm good" and he'll say a smart remark like.."for what?", like I'm nothing. I go to these doctor appointments for baby and ask him to come and when I thank him later he'll say.."No problem,I had nothing better to do.." it's like he only came because he 'had' too and it hurts me inside when he does these little remarks.Its my first pregnancy and I'm scared of delivery and he thinks that I have 'no stress' because I'm not doing as much as I was before

 
CandieGirl09

Asked by CandieGirl09 at 9:01 AM on Apr. 2, 2009 in Relationships

Level 11 (628 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (7)
  • My husband says things that aren't exactly the same but depending on my mood can be hurtful to me. I finally told him that I'm female, I'm emotional and I need to feel loved, and appreciated and that I'd like him to ask himself how it'd make him feel if I said those things to him, if he'd know for sure that I meant it in the good way or that I knew he was joking even tho he sounds dead serious. That "for what" thing would piss me off really bad. Abuse usually starts as verbal and I'm not saying he's meaning to do that, but it sounds like it to me, like he's trying to make you feel worthless. You aren't worthless, you're the mother of his child, you can bring new life in the world, what can he do that you can't? Absolutely nothing! We can build strength, we can learn.. there's no class that can make them be able to carry a baby :)
    lisa_ann_p

    Answer by lisa_ann_p at 9:54 AM on Apr. 2, 2009

  • guys are so stupid. If he could walk a day in your shoes, he might understand.
    samurai_chica

    Answer by samurai_chica at 9:03 AM on Apr. 2, 2009

  • If it was me I would tell him how I feel. Tell him to be a bit more sensitive of your feelings. You are more sensitive and emotional because of your hormones from the baby and stuff too.
    MommaM2

    Answer by MommaM2 at 9:12 AM on Apr. 2, 2009

  • I now its hard, but keep in mind that he is probably really stressed thinking that he will be a father in a few days. You may have heard this before, but for a lot of guys, it isn't real to them until they see the baby. We've felt all the effects of pregnancy and clearly, our bellies have gotten bigger, but they just don't get it until they hold that tiny little person in their arms. Its been real to you from the first kicks you felt, but not for him. You see yourself as two people now and he still only sees you as one person. I'm not saying it gives him the right to be mean, but my advice is to keep that in mind when dealing with him. He is so nervous right now and his remarks might be his way of feeling in control or he is so stressed, he doesn't even realize he's hurting you. Yes, we mamas deserve tons of respect and credit for carrying a child and delivering one, but the fathers need a little understanding too.
    chillemi78

    Answer by chillemi78 at 9:12 AM on Apr. 2, 2009

  • Havent you said "Whats your problem"???? That is so disrespectful no matter what he is feeling! Hang in there you will soon be taking on way more than you once had to, and maybe he will realize it.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:30 AM on Apr. 2, 2009

  • What a prick! Next time he makes a snide comment why not stand up to him and say 'what is your problem?' or you could make a smart-ass reply to his rude comments. Like when you say I'm good and he mutters "for what" you reply with "for putting up with a prick like you".
    Maybe if you stand up to him and take the wind out of his sails he will stop.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:25 AM on Apr. 2, 2009

  • He sounds like a very immature father to be. I wouldn't count on him to change, I'm sorry but guys like that hardly do. Look out for yourself and your child.
    Good luck with your baby.
    promom

    Answer by promom at 10:36 AM on Apr. 2, 2009

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