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In Law Problems ! I need your help!what would you do! inactive mother in law demanding !

I have a mother in law that shows hardly any intrest in my daughter. My daughter is 8 months and my she never came visit. The only two times she came to visit was for favors.She rides pass our house every weekend to pick up two of her other children every weekendand never stops .My daughters christening is suppose to be this weekend. It took us forever to get our pastor to set a day because he is the state bishop over 2 states. (busy man). I asked my husband several x's if he wanted to postpone b/c his mother wasn't able to be there . He said no it was a hard time getting this date. The week of she calls and chews him out .now he told her he was going to cancel it ! Not consulting me!We have a christening dress we brought which is non refundable and soon be 2 small. She won't even give us a date of when she will be available.She called trying to tell me what to do about it She didn't even know my daughter could walk!

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 10:15 AM on Apr. 2, 2009 in Babies (0-12 months)

Answers (12)
  • How about keep the date and have her arrange her plans if she really wants to be there! I know how hard it is to rescedule things like this with chrch. Good luck.
    mamaada

    Answer by mamaada at 10:19 AM on Apr. 2, 2009

  • She is one of those people that thinks the world revolves around her ! Everytime we go out she holds my baby and kisses all over her like she is so infatuated and it is just a big show! She does anything to prance around and be seen ! I just move to this town and people always tell me who know her that she is crazy!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:21 AM on Apr. 2, 2009

  • First I'd make it very clear that he should consult you before giving in to his mom like that. Second, I'd reschedule and if she doesn't come, oh well. If she gets mad because of the day it's on, oh well. She had her chance.

    PinkDiamond717

    Answer by PinkDiamond717 at 10:22 AM on Apr. 2, 2009

  • Well atleast you have the opposite problem that many have. A mother in law who is to overly opinionated and judgemental. Does she have other grankids that she is involved with? If so is there a reason she may not want to come around, like not a good relationship with you or her son? I think its good your hubs didnt cancel the date. I mean what could be so important that she cant attend.
    okmommy08

    Answer by okmommy08 at 10:24 AM on Apr. 2, 2009

  • Um, yea, it's
    YOUR daughter not hers. If she gets pissy, so what? Seriously, she can't do anything to you. And if hub can't stand up to her, tell him to be a man and grow some balls
    Zakysmommy

    Answer by Zakysmommy at 10:29 AM on Apr. 2, 2009

  • Sounds like my mother. I just spent most of the night and this morning writing and tearing up emails to my mom over something she shoved in my face. We get along best when we see each other in controlled circumstances. I'd think about rescheduling it and telling her in advance you are hurt by her. You want your baby to know her grandma. You're an adult. You are allowed to say firm and respectfully that you get respect for her to see grandbaby. You're the mommy she's the grandma. There a line grandparents must recognize like they expected their parents or inlaws to respect their own wishes of parenting. When my mother and I remind ourselves and some times each other of our rules, we enjoy our times. I spent a lot of years in guilt putting up with her nasty comments. Now she knows that we will not see her if she's disrespectful to me.
    She deserved to know my rights as her daughter and her grandchildren's mother.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:29 AM on Apr. 2, 2009

  • I asked her if she could get a later flight. She said i tried everthing i can even send you the text of me asking off. She has always treated my husband like a third wheel . He told me he never understood why as a child but i am not going to put up with ! especially not towards my daughter.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:30 AM on Apr. 2, 2009

  • I'd go ahead with the date you have scheduled, unless your MIL would like to buy her a new christening dress for a later date.

    momjoy1027

    Answer by momjoy1027 at 10:31 AM on Apr. 2, 2009

  • GO ahead with the date. This is about your daughter not your MIL. If you start rearranging things now, it will happen again at the first b-day, then family pics, then her 16 th b-day, etc. I've seen a friend go through this and it was only after 5 yrs and missing a ton of that baby's life did the MIL come around.
    cjbj08

    Answer by cjbj08 at 10:38 AM on Apr. 2, 2009

  • Omg, you have described my mil perfectly too! She drives by my house every weekend to go ride horses, and never comes by but will call on her way home and see if we can go to her house for dinner (an hour drive when she could just stop by). I am so sorry.

    You are going to have to have a sit down discussion with your husband and point out that it is between you and him how, and when things are planned and done for your daughter. You are going to have to get that straight now before it gets worse, because if she sees that it worked this time, it will get worse. Keep your original date, tell your mil that you hope she can come and leave it at that, f she throws a fit your dh can just tell her that you will take pictutres for her if she feels she has more important things to do that day, and you wish she would change her mind.. GL, mil's suck when they act like that.
    AK_aries

    Answer by AK_aries at 10:46 AM on Apr. 2, 2009

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