Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Did I do the right thing?

How r u doing ladies? I had ask about 2questions b4 I had the baby. Once the baby was born I told u all about his GIRLFRIEND requesting a DNA test-99.999. Now since ALL her childish BS, she DOESN'T want him around the baby or HIS family. I filed child support as SOME of u suggested. I sent a letter to his parents they are affected & hurting I'm sure-Last time him & her got my letter b4 his parents. Hopefully they'll get it this time. I'm walking away from this. It's his lost. My friends say I should fight 4 my son he has a right to be @ his parents house-2way effort. Me, I say let go and let God. It's his 1st & only child, he was born on his BIRTHDAY-she got 'em a camera. That has 2hurt, her. My focus & concern is on my kids n' bettering myself. If he was operating off love he'd be concern 4 & apart of son life. If he worked off loyalty he would've never cheated on her AND made a baby. They order him to pay 456 a month.....

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 10:38 AM on Apr. 2, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (2)
  • Good for you mama!

    When I had my son, his bio father said that he was going to pretend he didn't have a child and that he regretted even knowing me. It hurt alot, but from that moment on, I would go on without him. You can't force someone to participate in a child's life if they don't want to. Three and half years later, I've only heard from him one other time. He told he wanted to see my son, and I told him that if he really wanted to, he'd have to work a lot harder than just asking because I'd been working my ass off for almost a year by myself. Which meant he could not simply walk in and then back out of my son's life- if he really wanted it, he could go to the courthouse and petition for visitation/custody.

    Hopefully later on, he will change his mind and want to be a father to your child, but until then, I think you made the right decision and I wish you the very best of luck.
    Crystal1124

    Answer by Crystal1124 at 10:48 AM on Apr. 2, 2009

  • Good for you. Sounds like you have done all you can at this point. (btw I dont remember seeing your other post but I get the picture from your question of what it was about) I had my oldest son with a man like that and it was the best thing I could have done to just let him go and not push him to see his kid. He knows he has a bio dad out there somewhere, but my husband now is adopting him. You cant force a man to be a good dad, yeah your son deserves it, but it would cause more heartache and affect him if you try to force him to be there. It hink you made a good choice, but at the same time if he comes and wants to see him in the future, let him have a chance. I am not saying rearrange your life to make him happy, but give him the opportunity to change if he shows interest, to a reasonable level. GL
    AK_aries

    Answer by AK_aries at 10:52 AM on Apr. 2, 2009

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.