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He cheated, and i need to forgive him, advice pls

So we have been married for 8 months, I'm 6 months pregnant and I found out that my husband slept with his ex while we were dateing. We were serious, I had a promise ring. I know it was a while ago, but I can't sleep or even think straight. I know I'm not the only one that has to forgive, Advice please!!!

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 11:32 AM on Apr. 2, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (12)
  • how does he have to forgive? How did you find out?
    worriedmommy600

    Answer by worriedmommy600 at 11:33 AM on Apr. 2, 2009

  • i wouldnt forgive, once a cheater always a cheater. just my opinion....
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:33 AM on Apr. 2, 2009

  • people change but not all.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:34 AM on Apr. 2, 2009

  • I do believe that people change. Forgiveness comes with time. You will not forgive him immediately...it also comes with trust. So if you completely trust him now then the forgiveness will come...but you will never ever forget.
    NJMom2Tyler

    Answer by NJMom2Tyler at 11:36 AM on Apr. 2, 2009

  • It's going to be hard to have that trust that marriages should have if he cheated already. How are you going to trust that he won't do it again? Even though you weren't married at the time, that doesn't make it ok. Too bad you didn't find out till after you got married. I say watch his every single move. Make sure he has NO contact with this chick. Become a pain in the ass, but he deserves it!
    mamaada

    Answer by mamaada at 11:38 AM on Apr. 2, 2009

  • The only thing that I would forgive is
    myself for get married to him..
    He slept with his X when he was you....
    Damn girl, he is no good and he will do it again..
    Personally I would not move forward with him...He had SEX with another woman while he was
    having sex with you..
    You don't forgive that....you forget him and move on...
    He will do it again..It is in his blood and bones..
    Dannee

    Answer by Dannee at 11:39 AM on Apr. 2, 2009

  • It was before you were married and now your expecting a child if you both can let go of the past and BOTH decide to make this work for your little one sake then that is the only way it'll work! plus you also want to love each other be truthfull and depend on one another!
    I had my twins and only then did jack and i become so distant from one another that he strayed and i moved out it took six month but he realized what he needs to live and work hard for was us and we moved back and he's wonderfull with the boys and beng a provider in this tough economy.Sure i feel hurt and let down and oh how could he right after i had just givin birth oh i was sooo mad! but I was raised by a single mom and know first hand how it's like with no father and how much i need him, And I promised i would make this work and have "let go" of it and try to trust him here foward... and he's been good he loves me and he loves the boys even more!good luck
    mirit.rose

    Answer by mirit.rose at 11:46 AM on Apr. 2, 2009

  • I went through this too, right now you feel so horrible, ashamed, scared, and terrified- I'm here to tell you, there is redemption and forgiveness. The thing that you have to realize, is his actions, do they speak that he is TRUELY sorry, is he willing to do ANYTHING to make sure you trust him again? I have a firm belief that men and women won't stray unless something is 'missing' from the relationship, so I had to forgive myself for not giving my hubs what he needed, we went to counceling, and we are amazing now. It's too long of a story to tell you how I came to forgive him- but I'm here if ya need a sholder, or a little step in the right direction!
    kikitty

    Answer by kikitty at 12:05 PM on Apr. 2, 2009

  • At this point, unless you are concerned about him cheating, try to let it go for the good of your marriage and your own sanity. How you found out about this and what he had to say for himself would sure provide alot of insight for people to comment in a meaningful way.
    figaro8895

    Answer by figaro8895 at 12:06 PM on Apr. 2, 2009

  • He did it when you were dating. I would forgive and move on. If he did it while you were married I would show him the door.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:30 PM on Apr. 2, 2009

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