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What do you think?

My husband is driving me crazy! We are catholic. I was trying to have a conversation with him about us going to church more often than we do. My kids and I go about once per month and he doesn't go unless it's a holiday! He got all defensive about it. He's mad at me now. And told me since I'm the one not working, I should be the one to take care of this stuff! I am the one preparing my child for his first Communion, I am the one making an effort to go to church and I will be the one handling my daughters baptism! He does have an anxiety disorder that I feel interferes with his life but he refuses to see a doctor about it.
Am I wrong on this? Shouldn't this be a joint effort?


Asked by mamaada at 12:57 PM on Apr. 2, 2009 in Religion & Beliefs

Level 21 (11,083 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (9)
  • Well taking care of the children should be a joint effort heck making them was. As for his not going to church let it go. He has made his own decision there. Anxiety disorder may be why, but you know the saying you can lead a horse to water, but you can't make him drink. He has got to want to change for himself you can't do that for him. You might look into marriage couselling and find a therapist who does home visits. But it sounds like you will be doing the church stuff by yourself. Communication Consideration and Compromise keys to a good marriage. That is one thing a pastor told me that stuck. Good luck to you hon. I'll send some positive vibes your way.

    Answer by 2autisticsmom at 1:05 PM on Apr. 2, 2009

  • It should be a joint effort, but if he doesn't want to participate and it is important to you than sometimes you've just got to suck it up and do it on your own.

    Answer by Crystal1124 at 1:00 PM on Apr. 2, 2009

  • It should be but it sounds like it wont be.
    You can either keep nagging him about it and it will lead to further contention,etc in your relationship OR you can just keep doing what you are doing and not say anymore.

    You can really force him to participate or attend church,etc...just one of those things that have to be done in their own time when they are ready.

    Answer by BonesDragonDew at 1:05 PM on Apr. 2, 2009

  • I think you take your kids and go to Church whenever you want. I did for a couple months before my dh decided to check it out. However, the more you force the issue, the less desire he will have to go.

    Answer by hdb at 3:05 PM on Apr. 2, 2009

  • Okay, well, this is really a two part question, as I see it, and you have two very distinct issues that really have nothing to do with each other.

    The first issue is your husband's church going habits (or lack thereof), am I right? Well, on this issue, I really think it best that you step back and leave him alone about it. If he doesn't want to go, then he doesn't want to go and you trying to force him will just worsen the situation. My father never went to church my entire childhood and through most of my adult life. Then one day, he up and decided to go with my mom. He's been faithfully going ever since. So don't worry about that too much.

    The second issue, and the one I think is the most important, is the child-rearing issue. It seems to me from your post that he has little or no involvement with the children, am I correct? If so, this is not right. He needs to step up and help out a little with the parenting.

    Answer by jennijune_21 at 4:06 PM on Apr. 2, 2009

  • I agree with Crystal. I run into the same thing with my hubby. He doesn't want to particiate either. But it matters to me so I just do it.

    Answer by jenettyshome at 7:05 PM on Apr. 2, 2009

  • maybe he doesn't agree to that religion anymore.

    Answer by lawla at 7:29 PM on Apr. 2, 2009

  • I am always the one that handles those types of things in our home simply because men are not real good with these things. With my husband I simply tell him when and where. It doesn't mean that it matters less to him than it does to me, just that I am better at organizing and arranging those things. It is part of my job as his help mate.

    Answer by luvmybabieskna at 7:06 AM on Apr. 3, 2009

  • Some things aren't worth fighting over. If these things are important to you, do it. Don't try to force something from your husband. He obviously doesn't feel very strongly about it all and he is just going to resent your pushing him.

    Answer by Marwill at 7:27 AM on Apr. 3, 2009