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I know my son is mad at me, but I don't think I deserved this, do you?

My son (19) moved out 3 weeks ago cuz DH gave him an ultimatum - "Do your household chores, pay rent or move out"...so in his infinite wisdom he moved out.
I went to the dr. , upon exiting, I realized I had locked my keys in the car - DH has the other but is out of town.

My other son took my bank card last night and didn't return it, no big deal,I wrote the dr a check. But, Pop-A-Lock don't take checks, it's credit or cash. I had neither & my oldest son works where I can't get in touch with him. So I called the youngest (he's off today) to either bring his bank card or bring the $35 to pay Pop-A-Lock. The kid wouldn't do it. Get's this crappy attitude with me and I said fine, leave your mom stranded. I was stranded from 10:30 till noon - when a friend finally got off work & came to help me out. This was just shitty of him to do and I'm ready to just lower the boom on him & let him have it with both barrels. Would you?

 
PaceMyself

Asked by PaceMyself at 1:14 PM on Apr. 2, 2009 in Adult Children (18+)

Level 5 (75 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (24)
  • um... even after my mom kicked me cause (honestly even she admits it) was hormonal (and I'll admit it too -- so was I) I'd still never leave her stranded. That just sucks.
    I'd seriously lower the guilt boom on him and pack anything left in the house into boxes. You DO NOT treat you mother like that EVEN if you think she was a total WITCH esp. after she's been a pretty okay mom all your life.
    MamiJaAyla

    Answer by MamiJaAyla at 6:32 PM on Apr. 4, 2009

  • That is wrong. He should have been there for him wai till he needs something then lower the boom.
    okmommy08

    Answer by okmommy08 at 1:16 PM on Apr. 2, 2009

  • I sure would. And next time he needs a favor... remind him of this time! What a little punk to leave his mom stranded like that!
    mamaada

    Answer by mamaada at 1:16 PM on Apr. 2, 2009

  • Umm, so your son left you high and dry because you and your husband gave him a choice as to whether or not he wants to live at home and be responsible or move out and be responsible? Sounds like a pretty crappy attitude he has. He's an adult now, he has to take responsibility for him self and I think that it's commendable that you made him make the decision...and that's the thing, HE MADE THE DECISION. It's not like you kicked him out or anything. He chose to move out because he did not want to abide by your rules. I think he needs to check his attitude and be appreciative that you love him enough to make him be a responsible adult. I'm sorry you were stranded...there was no reason for that.

    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:19 PM on Apr. 2, 2009

  • Yepp just wait till he needs something and comes crawling back on his hands and knees kissing your ass for it..then say OOPS sorry I can't. Sounds like a little punk ass brat to me...if he was my kid...oh lord he would get an earful.
    Ash9724

    Answer by Ash9724 at 1:19 PM on Apr. 2, 2009

  • Absolutely lower the boom. I did with my son when he was 18, now mid twenties andhe told me it was the best thing I ever did for him. Your not forcing something horrible like drugs or alchohol on him. Your firmly saying respect me or go elsewhere. I bet you've done what I did, give him lots of things and mabe social freedom. Tell him he needs to follow your rules and respect you. He can do that in your home and have a roof over his head growiong into adulthood or he can do it by leaving your home leaving you with far less verbal and emotional FIGHTS even though you[ll be sad, which is different in itself than being in a fight. It's your house you've paid for it even if you live in a rental.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:21 PM on Apr. 2, 2009

  • I would be so upset! Remind him the next time you need a favor! He doesnt sounds inconsiderate. I mean, you gave him a perfectly understandable ultimatium: act like an ADULT (pay rent, help out around the house) or leave. What he did sounds childish. God forbid something bad had happened to you! (like a mugging or something).
    AdensMommy1107

    Answer by AdensMommy1107 at 1:21 PM on Apr. 2, 2009

  • Sorry, realized a typo. Meant to write: He sounds inconsiderate.
    AdensMommy1107

    Answer by AdensMommy1107 at 1:22 PM on Apr. 2, 2009

  • It shows his immaturity. His previous behavior also showed his immaturity. I can see where he was coming from. "she kicked me out so no way am I going to help her out. I'll show her that she can't mess with me!" You would have been lucky indeed to have a son who would rise above the hurt from being kicked out to help you. But then, if he had such maturity and character, he wouldn't have needed to be kicked out in the first place. Let it go. There's no way he was going to all the sudden develop a sense of responsibility. In a couple years he'll become an adult and then it might be different.
    Bmat

    Answer by Bmat at 1:23 PM on Apr. 2, 2009

  • I'd kick his ass. lol sorry! Maybe after a while of paying his own rent he will realise how much parents struggle to pay bills and try to meet the needs (and wants) of their children. It would hurt me so much if I had an adult son that wanted to live off of me but not contribute anything in return and didn't think he needed to. Where is the love and respect for his mother and father? Does he really think he should live in your home for free, being supported by you and not have to show any appreciation or chip in in return? How would he feel if he were the parent in that situation. Does he honestly think that it's OK to leave his mother stranded as "punishment" for making him act like an adult instead of a child?

    I was the same way until I moved out and started paying my own bills. If it makes you feel any better, I've apologised to my parents like 100 times alreayd and even told them "you were right" lol.
    NovemberLove

    Answer by NovemberLove at 1:26 PM on Apr. 2, 2009

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