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Should I give it time?

I love my baby's father, but for over 5mths he hasn't even called to see how our baby is doing. He only showed up to my house once on my third month of pregnancy! I love him but don't know what to do. I keep calling him to see what is going on and til today I haven't gotten not one phone call. Tomorrow is my sonogram, how sad is it that I'll be there on my own :(...Can someone give me there advive and opinion

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Asked by cutemom09 at 8:57 PM on Apr. 2, 2009 in Relationships

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Answers (6)
  • I was married to my childrens' father and lived with him during all my pregnancies and he never went to any of my appts nor cared about how things were going. Some men think that pregnancy is something for women. Dumb, yes but somehow they think it's "our thing" and don't even think we want them sharing in it. You may have to face that he has no interest in this part since he can't really participate or empathize with pregnancy. Maybe he'll do better after the baby is born.

    Answer by admckenzie at 9:03 PM on Apr. 2, 2009

  • wait till your married next time...sounds like your young...grow up and use protection

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:07 PM on Apr. 2, 2009

  • My hubby didn't go with me to my appointments either, but in your case, he's not there for you in any way. There's not much you can do unfortunately. The one thing you CAN do tho, is sue his butt for child support and he will be forced to help you financially even if he doesn't want to exercise his rights to ge to know his child (and I do think that starts in the womb, my baby loved when my hubby would talk or put his hands on my tummy).
    I'm not going to lecture you on the whole birth control thing but I am going to say that I don't know how old you are, but boys and men will tell you anything you want to hear to get in your pants and then when times get hard, they're usually gone and they'll be hollering "I'm not that baby's daddy, that girl will sleep with anything t hat moves"
    Looks like you're in this alone, atleast for now. I wish I was one of your friends so I could offer you whatever emotional support I could.

    Answer by lisa_ann_p at 9:21 PM on Apr. 2, 2009

  • sounds like he's a typical boy who got freaked out and ran dear. my daughters father did the same thing me but the twisted shit was HE WANTED THE BABY and I didnt , but obviously the tables turned and he fled the state like a bat out of hell with absolutely no phone calls or emails giving me a reason . all i can say is be strong i dont even know you but i believe you can do this alone. men come and go but that child will be your life!

    Answer by Kayge at 11:00 PM on Apr. 2, 2009

  • I completely understand the pain and betrayal you are probably feeeling right now. My situation was a bit different. My ex husband was there for everything during pregnancy of course because we were married and seemed as happy as I was to be having a child. After she was born, he stayed for a while, became increasingly distant and after her first birthday, he left and never came back. Now he wants to sign away his rights... It is a hard time to be a mom and feel totally alone... Especially since you did not get that way alone. my advice to you is to just put in the back of your mind and enjoy your pregnancy. It really is an exciting time and you can really miss out on some happy moments if you let the stress and sadness of the situation take over. Its hard I know, but you are strong. Enjoy this closeness with your baby... Take pictures of the belly, read stories to the belly. Enjoy your pregnancy. Good luck MAMA!!!

    Answer by BriHan06 at 12:00 AM on Apr. 3, 2009

  • I understand the pain your going through...and I know how upsetting this can be for you, especially when you feel that you're still in love with him...To be honest with you, leave it alone. You cannot force the fact that he's about to be a father on him. You cannot make him live up to his responsibilities because he has to want to be responsible and he has to want to see you, which he's proven that he doesn't want to...You have to gain the strength to move on from this and come out a stronger and better person for it...if he's not returning your calls, stop calling him...Its hard to feel alone but life is too short to sit around wishing that someone will be with you that obviously doesn't want to. Enjoy this time in your life...

    Answer by mom2mybabes at 3:25 PM on Apr. 3, 2009

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