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let's see if I can explain this and let me know what you think............If the BM can't afford to do someting should the SM and BD have to pick up her slack? I know it's a lot, but please read, I'd like to know what you think. The situation is this:

There's 4 practices in a week, SS lives with us, (SM and BD), 2 practices during the week, 2 on weekends(which he spends with her, 3 out of 4 a month). She says she can't afford to drive to our town 4x a week, so she wants him to miss Sunday practices. She also wants us to drive him to her for drop off and pick ups for each weekend so she doesn't have to, b/c she wants to go to practices. Usually we meet 1/2 way. BTW, she doesn't work. I offered to drive him the full way on Fridays to make it easier and meet 1/2 way on Sundays. Should we really have to do all the driving b/c she can't afford it? Should she not come 1 day during the week when he's with us, instead of him missing practice on Sunday, b/c she can't afford it? Do you think whatever parents has him, should get him to where he needs to be? Obviously we'll get him to practice, but should we really have to pick up her slack, shouldn't she get a job?

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 9:10 PM on Apr. 2, 2009 in Just for Fun

Answers (15)
  • heck no. my mans baby mama wanted him to take HER and the baby to the dr. im like no she has family she lives with her parents you arnt married to her you shouldnt have to do anything for her
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:12 PM on Apr. 2, 2009

  • whoever has custody should not be transporting the child. That's the way I've always seen it, anyway. Of course, people work things out, but get a custody agreement that states when you transport and when she does and stick to it.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:14 PM on Apr. 2, 2009

  • I don't think this is a big issue. Let it go.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:14 PM on Apr. 2, 2009

  • I don't understand this. What is in the child's best interest? If the mom is working or not is besides the point. You married a man who had a child and his responsibility is t that child's needs first. Maybe the biological mom is not pulling her share or being unreasonable but honey, that is not your problem, the child needs come first and that is something that your husband needs to address with the ex-wife. You married a father, you are not the biological mother of that child no matter how many sacrifices you make or even how much you love them, so let the parents do the parenting and supprt anything that will help the outcome of this child.
    bebita

    Answer by bebita at 9:20 PM on Apr. 2, 2009

  • It sounds like neither of you work
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:22 PM on Apr. 2, 2009

  • Did she enroll the child in the activity that occurs on her parenting time? Was it discussed with her before he was enrolled in this activity and did she agree to take him to the practices? What's more important, the child seeing his mother or your feelings about what she should be doing to make it happen? The custodial parent's obligations are to foster the relationship with the other parent, and act in a manner that is in the child's best interest. In that postion we sometimes have to suck it up and deal. I've done tons of stuff I didn't want to. Not for my ex. For my child and her relationship with her father. Yeah, it annoys me ~ but I do it because it's not about me.
    desert_diva

    Answer by desert_diva at 9:23 PM on Apr. 2, 2009

  • I'm sorry bebita- but your answer doesn't make sense.... should I have my husband ask the question? would that make a difference? I am so tired of coming on here as a SM and everyone always saying "your the step mom back off". This situation has nothing to do with me being a step mom, it's about picking up her slack and her not pulling her weight with this situation. I am open to all opinions, but this has nothing to do with being a step mom. Obviously she's not putting him first if she'd rather him miss practice . what's more important here, her going or him? And it is my problem, I treat him no differently then our 2 kids, my husband I are a team and make all decisions together, he deals with her personally, but every situation effects the family, not just him and his son. The kids do come first, always, my husband and I will sacrifice what we have to do for them, but why can't she?
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:35 PM on Apr. 2, 2009

  • Sounds like you really aren't open for opinions. You haev your mind set and that's it.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:40 PM on Apr. 2, 2009

  • anon 9:22, I am a graphic designer, my husband runs a chain of restaurants, we both work. BM, no.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:40 PM on Apr. 2, 2009

  • I just wanted to see what other people thought, there has been a mix of answers and all appreciated, very much so, I just didn't want this to be a SM question.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:41 PM on Apr. 2, 2009

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