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What really defines cheating ?

Have not been trusting husbands behavior.

Happen to know his e-mail account information he thinks i don't.

Ran acrosse a dating site and being i was in his e-mail direct linked me to his account information.

Said wants one night stands,good at oral,says things like bondage and threesomes.

Now friends feel unless i catch him he is not cheating.

However,i feel to act weather direct or indirect is taking away from us and shows he is not faithful and makes our marriage a joke.

Which poses the title:What really defines cheating ?

I worry about my soon to be babies health from him now.

What would you do to best approach this ?

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 9:50 PM on Apr. 2, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (15)
  • If it is not FULLY consensual between the partners, then it is cheating. For instance, if one needs to lie or sneak, or keep things from the spouse because you suspect it would hurt them: that is betrayal, even if it's just a Playboy magazine. If both spouses fully agree to certain choices, and have good communication, total honesty and openness, and both are truly in agreement, then it is not cheating even if it involves sex with other people. It's all about the agreement that the couple have entered into with each other, and how consensual it is.
    Collinsky

    Answer by Collinsky at 9:55 PM on Apr. 2, 2009

  • I feel that it is cheating if it is something he would not do in front of me.
    pitbull4me

    Answer by pitbull4me at 9:58 PM on Apr. 2, 2009

  • forgot to add-- in front of me without getting a beat down.
    pitbull4me

    Answer by pitbull4me at 9:59 PM on Apr. 2, 2009

  • I would confront him BEFORE he meets someone off of a dating site. Why wait until he brings a disease home to you?


    http://www.pureintimacy.org/marriedcouples/


     

    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:59 PM on Apr. 2, 2009

  • The same happened with me, and I confronted my husband about it. He was mad that I was snooping around, but he also explained his behaviour and I didn't find any letters back to girls or anything that made me believe he actually physically cheated. I told him, emotionally, he had cheated. ....Definitely confront your husband about it.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:00 PM on Apr. 2, 2009

  • if it involves sex, making out, making people believe you're available, i believe it's cheatng. even porn. but that's just IMO. in my book what he's doing is cheating. but at the same time, what you are doing is dishonest, not telling him you have his information. sounds to me like your marriage needs to be more open when it comes to secrets.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:03 PM on Apr. 2, 2009

  • im totally serious, this is what i would do..
    go to the dating sight and make a fake account and ask him if he wants to meet u or something. But dont make it obvious its you. If he replies, hes obviously not faithful. Dating sights make you pay by the month and obviously hes still paying. Agghh my fiance cheated on me 8 months pregnant with twins, so my stomach is turning sooo much from this question. Im sorry if he is :(
    If you take my advise, message me and let me know what happens, ya? please.
    dennysgirl07

    Answer by dennysgirl07 at 10:04 PM on Apr. 2, 2009

  • if it involves sex, making out, making people believe you're available, i believe it's cheatng. even porn. but that's just IMO. in my book what he's doing is cheating.
    but at the same time, what you are doing is dishonest, not telling him you have his information. sounds to me like your marriage needs to be more open when it comes to secrets

    OMG,can't believe your blaming her.It's there computer then really she did not do something bad.
    This is why cheaters will feel somehow it is always ok since the other deserved it.

    .
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:07 PM on Apr. 2, 2009

  • Op here:
    Tid bit more information on the computer account since someone thinks i did wrong...lol
    It's our computer and you can find information out on accounts.
    He has all my account information since i have nothing to hide.
    This account is new,and i ran across the information since he had to write it down so i wanted to see what it was and i find this.
    I feel bad that i did it to a point but than why should i feel shame ?
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:10 PM on Apr. 2, 2009

  • Cheating is when he is deceiving you. Sneaking.
    Bmat

    Answer by Bmat at 10:29 PM on Apr. 2, 2009

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