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my mom's abusive relationship

YES i know it's none of my business to "butt in" but that is not what I am looking to read from you ladies. My mom has always chosen abusive relationships both physically and emotionally abusive VERY abusive. I've been with her threw them all. She is in yet another trapped marriage and he hits her and talks her down to nothing at all. She claims she has no way out of it, but I know she does. She comes over crying with bruises swearing she is done but she wont take any advice she just deals with him being like this to her. What am I suppose to do? I offered to have her live with us, I offered my couch for the night or whatever, offered to take her out to feel better nothing is helping her. She thinks she is so pitiful and stuck!

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Asked by Anonymous at 11:44 PM on Apr. 2, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (3)
  • You cannot help her if she won't take the help. This is a pattern caused by low self esteem. She obviously doesn't believe she deserves any better. As my daughter wrote in her song, "Ashamed"( a song about her dad and and me), "Love unrequited is love, just the same". In other words, it does not matter to an abused woman that she is only giving love, she feels that HER love is enough to cover all the abuse, and it matters not that she doesn't receive love from him in return. Until she realizes that she is worth more than the crap he gives, she will continue to get herself in and stay in these traps. All you can do is advise her, and be there for her as much as she will let you be.

    Answer by Aprilmorgans at 12:00 AM on Apr. 3, 2009

  • Some women cling to abusive relationships, no clue why, but it happens. I have a friend who won't stay with a guy unless he treats her like crap, the worse he is, the more she loves him, nothing I've ever told her has made her see that she deserves someone who can treat her like a person and until she decides that she wants to be treated better, nothing I can say will chance her mind.

    Answer by heratyc at 8:02 AM on Apr. 3, 2009

  • Your mom needs help to get rid of attracting abusive men...Her intentions when she enters a new relationship is not trying to find out which one can beat her butt the best...she's looking for someone to love the beginning she receives the illusion of being loved and once they have her, they begin to abuse's not her fault and no one should assume that it is her fault...she needs guidance and counseling because during the abuse she has suffered, she has lost alot of herself that she needs to regain...Good luck.


    Answer by mom2mybabes at 3:15 PM on Apr. 3, 2009

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