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How do you guys feel about everyone holding your lil one?

My lil girl is 3 months old and everytime we go to someones house they all hold her the whole time we are there, say for example we go to a family members house for five hours the whole five hours everyone takes turns holding her and wont let her down, she gets cranky for days afterwards, and I don't know how to tell them not to hold her, afraid they'll get upset, or won't listen. Any advice?

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Imans_mommy

Asked by Imans_mommy at 12:55 AM on Apr. 3, 2009 in Babies (0-12 months)

Level 2 (1 Credits)
Answers (9)
  • Mommy-Bear Syndrome. It's common. My DD is 41/2 months old. I'll let you know if it ever goes away, ok? ;-)
    Anjeey

    Answer by Anjeey at 12:58 AM on Apr. 3, 2009

  • It gets better as they get older, I promise.
    I wish I had advice, I just didn't let people hold my daughter. If I didn't "like" them at the moment I just said... maybe another day but not today. I wasn't always nice... my hormones got the best of me.
    prettylilrae

    Answer by prettylilrae at 1:05 AM on Apr. 3, 2009

  • thats expected.i think its very selfish if you tell your family and friends oh dont hold my child...soorry!..


    when you do tell them, let me know how it goes with them! good luck.
    MomNbabyGirl009

    Answer by MomNbabyGirl009 at 1:30 AM on Apr. 3, 2009

  • Umm, all that holding really does make her sore. I'd tell the woman of the house (which ever house your visiting) that the baby is really sore from being held so much day before yesterday at "Aunt Susan's house" and ask her discreetly to help you keep everyone from making her worse. The woman of the house is usually going to side with you, and be like "Oh, poor baby" and then be the one to tell everyone else not to hold her.

    It worked like a charm when my son was born. It wasn't that I minded them holding him (who doesn't want to hold a baby?) but when they make the baby sore... you gotta say no. And I found that enlisting the help of the matriarch of the house is the best way to keep everyone at bay when the baby is sore. Cuz you know Aunt Lulu will tell em like it is don't care who she pisses off.
    PaceMyself

    Answer by PaceMyself at 1:44 AM on Apr. 3, 2009

  • I have a large family and they always want to play "pass the baby" and I follow him around like a lost puppy dog. (And he is almost 9 months old...lol.) I just watch for his cues (wriggling, getting fussy) and say "I think we better give him some time on the floor" and then usually they follow us to the floor, which is ok. If I feel that he needs quiet time, I just take him into the other room and tell every one that he is tired.
    jenellemarie

    Answer by jenellemarie at 3:23 AM on Apr. 3, 2009

  • thats how it was when my daughter was born
    cept i was the one that NEVER got to hold her or just spend mommy time with her
    because everybody wanted her.
    so i wanted to take her for a walk one day and mom bf said he wanted to keep her while i went for a walk..
    i just flipped out on him.. and after that everybody made sure i was in a
    good mood before they even asked haha

    Cyarasmom

    Answer by Cyarasmom at 5:58 AM on Apr. 3, 2009

  • It has never bothered me or my babies one bit. I'm home constantly with them...I take them with me for errands, I don't go out, I am with them 24/7 except the one day a week I work outside the house...and today I'll get my work done in about 3 or 4 hours. I love it when I just have my arms free that long!!!
    kabbot01

    Answer by kabbot01 at 6:30 AM on Apr. 3, 2009

  • well i told them sure you can hold him if you want but if he is a brat at bed time ill send him to your house now i would never do that but they got the idea pretty quick that he needed to be left on his own some times oh and the other one you will run in to is if your doing somethign and you let the baby cry for a min or two like while you make and heat the bottle or somethgin people will tell you dont do that hold him while you make the bottle dont just let him cry. personaly i let him cry to teach him to wait i would tlak to him tell him i was geting his baba ready but i wouldnt hold him while i was making it
    jajamama

    Answer by jajamama at 6:56 AM on Apr. 3, 2009

  • Most likely they still pass her to you when she gets fussy right? Well, after you soothe her, you could try announcing to the room (as though you're talking to your baby), "ok, (Baby'sname), time to get some of that floor time you need every day." Put her on the floor near you. They should get the hint. You can also look up and explain, "she loves all this attention, but gets a little fussy sometimes if she doesn't get her alone time." There's always an excuse to take her out of someone's arms when you think it's been too long. "Oh, I better check her diaper..." etc.
    EmilySusan

    Answer by EmilySusan at 10:55 AM on Apr. 3, 2009

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