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What do I do?

Just found out concretely (although I knew all along) that my husband has been seeing and slept with one of his old "friends" from highschool who is ALSO married and having "problems" with her spouse. The only difference is WE have 2 children. And he started seeing her 2 wks after our 2nd son was born in Feb. '09. I've been made a complete fool of! They act like a f&cking couple every day on the ride home on the train and there are plenty of people that ride that train that know he has a wife. He went "swimming" at the pool one night for 4 hrs aka he went to a motel and f&cked her while I stayed home to watch the kids. I asked him 3 times if he'd cheated, and he LIED. And after I dragged it out of him he told me he was never planning on telling me. I want to take a f&cking baseball bat to him and that stupid c&nt. He has completely forfeited his right to see his children. What kind of dumbshit rolemodel is he?

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 6:33 AM on Apr. 3, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (9)
  • Who thinks I should confront her?

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:35 AM on Apr. 3, 2009

  • i have no idea what to tell you but i am so glad to finaly see a woman get strong and mad on here most times it waaaaaa waaaa hubby cheated and they wine for days getting mad gives you strenth to do whatever you feal is best for you and your kids

    Answer by jajamama at 7:01 AM on Apr. 3, 2009

  • Get rid of him! Seriously, once a cheater always a cheater. You need a man not a little boy thats going to lie to you and cheat on you. I would be beyond furious and I would def tell him to leave. I know in this kind of situation its not the easiest to leave him or make him leave because of your children. If you two don't do something.....your kids will see the behavior and you don't want them unhappy or this have a negative affect on them when they get older.

    Answer by jdbrown21 at 7:25 AM on Apr. 3, 2009

  • I am so sorry to hear this, but yes once a cheater always a cheater. I made the mistake of keeping my ex even when I found out he was fooling around behind my back

    Answer by lily7 at 7:36 AM on Apr. 3, 2009

  • Seriuosly, of COURSE he lied to you about it, cheating men don't brag about it unless there's no chance that you'll leave. Obviously you do have the option to leave and it's not such a bad idea. As for confronting the other woman, I'm sure she knows about you, so obviously she doesn't feel bad for what she's doing, but you might want to let her husband know what a piece of shit he married.

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:53 AM on Apr. 3, 2009

  • I know how you feel, New Years I caught my SO my only regret is not being strong like you and just sitting here bawling my eyes out saying " I hate you" and "how could you!?! " I was only four months prego at the time but I at least shouldve stomped the dumb bitches face In!!! Im sorry to hear about your dumbass husband but do whats best for your kids and leave

    Answer by Breezy1988 at 8:16 AM on Apr. 3, 2009

  • of course she knows about me. her last email to my husband was about them each working on their own marriages in addition to their relationship with eachother. OUR 2nd son was only 4 wks old when he slept with her! if anyone would like to help me get her phone number and is on fb, let me know. her profile is set to private and she'll know something's up if i friend-request her, so i need someone's help. i do plan on letting her husband know, as i'm sure she hasn't told him even though she told my husband she was going to. i've just got to get a hold of his email for phone # somehow.

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:25 AM on Apr. 3, 2009

  • leave him you deserved better and tell her husband he deserves to know

    Answer by R3DR0S3 at 9:07 AM on Apr. 3, 2009

  • Confronting her will do you no good. She is not the problem. The problem lies with your husband. While it is true that it takes two to do what he has done, there are countless numbers of women who are available for the asking. I would not lower myself to give her the satisfaction of seeing me so distraught. Your problem is not with her. It is with your husband. He is not a trustworthy man. He can change, but only if he wants to change. That's how I would approach him. You have two little children who need a daddy in their lives, but they need a daddy with character. I would tell him that and I would ask him if he would like to be that man. I would tell him that if he wants to be that man, I would help him to become that man. Ultimately, the choice is his. I would tell him that this is not what I believe marriage is to be, and I am not settling for this kind of life. Let him make the choice.

    Answer by NannyB. at 9:12 AM on Apr. 3, 2009

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