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pot head!

my boyfriend just got a new job a few weeks ago and he works till really late at night, i think he thinks i'm going to be asleep when he gets home because he has been coming home high and i can tell and smell it. i'm expecting our first in less than a week. i've told him to stop a ton of times..i can't just up and leave at this point but what can i do to scare him and show him i'm serious and i'm not going to take his shit? other tha this he is perfect and treats me perfect but its time to grow up you're about to be a dad!!!! uhhhh frustrated..advice?!

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 8:33 AM on Apr. 3, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (6)
  • If it bothers you that much you can decide to ignore him when he is high. Make it totally obvious such as not cook him food when you make some for yourself, totally ignore when he talks to you, and then make the comment that you do not talk to strangers and that your husband does not smoke pot and so must be a stranger, etc. GL

    I would like to point out though that not all people who smoke pot are bad parents. Some of them only do it after all of their responsibilities are done for the day, away from the kids, and such. But it is your family and so your choice of course. That is my opinion.
    vbongard

    Answer by vbongard at 8:53 AM on Apr. 3, 2009

  • There is nothing you can do. Fathering a child does not cause a man to grow up and become a responsible man. He knows you don't like what he is doing, and he has chosen to ignore your desires. He is being selfish, and that is a matter of his character, which you have no power to change. Your only choices are to live with what you don't like or bring your child up without a daddy. Neither of those options is appealing to me. Should you decide to leave, remember before you let another man into your bed that real love considers the wants, desires, and feelings of its recipient and is willing to commit to that person and wants the very best for them.
    NannyB.

    Answer by NannyB. at 9:04 AM on Apr. 3, 2009

  • tell him that ...that his a good person but hi needs to grow up his about to be a dad to act like one ,and vbongard is right if his going to act like a kid than treat him like one
    R3DR0S3

    Answer by R3DR0S3 at 9:04 AM on Apr. 3, 2009

  • May I ask why his after work pot smoking bothers you so much? If he is taking care of his responsibilities then what is the problem? It sounds like you are too uptight.. it's not like he's a heroine addict. And he's coming home to you, using responsibly at home, not in front of you.. he could be out with whoever not coming home and driving around high. You need to comprimise. If it's not negatively interupting his life- let the man have one thing. It's a natural plant that grows in the ground. Lighten up!!!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:34 AM on Apr. 3, 2009

  • P.S. smoking pot doesn't mean you haven't grown up- he's taking care of all his adult responsibilities!! And coming home to you at night, needless arguments like this is what will eventually put a wedge between you guys and make him start sneeking around!!!!!!!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:36 AM on Apr. 3, 2009

  • Why is it such a big deal? I'm not for smoking pot and all but was he doing this before you got pregnant? If so, just because you're having a baby will not stop him from smoking pot...If not, then maybe he's under some sort of pressure and needs to relax his mind...Life it too short to knit pick over the little things that will eventually lead to something worse..enjoy this time in your life!
    mom2mybabes

    Answer by mom2mybabes at 3:07 PM on Apr. 3, 2009

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