Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

My son had a school project and I am feeling a little guilty...

My 1st grader came home the middle of last week with a note saying that he needed to make a "dino-rama" to bring to school today. He hasn't come home with a lot of projects to do at home yet, usually some decorating type stuff and I have always let him do it on his own. This time around we had some great ideas in the beginning like a volcano and making the dinosaurs out of clay and such. Well, he put it off and put it off and had hardly anything done with it 4 days before it was due, so I buckled down. He didn't want to do anything that we had talked about and wouldn't even set the box up on end. This morning he left with a box with glued dirt and some little plastic dinosaurs in it that weren't even glued down. I think it turned out bad, but it was HIS project afterall right? So why do I feel guilty? He refused all my help and I just stepped aside. Should I have made him let me help or just let him do it his way?

Answer Question

Asked by kitten_shuga at 9:51 AM on Apr. 3, 2009 in School-Age Kids (5-8)

Level 3 (13 Credits)
Answers (12)
  • His way! Don't worry, you just have mama instincts kicking in lol, you want the best for him. But some times we have to step back and let them do it.

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:54 AM on Apr. 3, 2009

  • sometimes its hard to stand back and let our kids make a mistake, but its the way they learn and grow. I think that's the mistake my mother made, she never let me fall. I always knew that she would fix whatever I needed fixed, even a dino box. lol But it mad me be dependant and not self sufficient when I was younger.

    The above post is right, you are just feeling your protective mommy instincts kicking in. :)

    Answer by mom2twobabes at 9:55 AM on Apr. 3, 2009

  • He is only showing his independance to you... my 8 yr old did this also with me during the Valentine week of school when the children needed to bring a box decorated by them as their favorite 'anything'... I did help him a little, but 99% of it was done by "HIM" and he felt proud of it... I too felt a little gulity, but I think that that is only being a parent and wanting our children to be the best...
    I am sure he too was proud of his project and yes it was done by him...that is showing as I said his independance...

    Answer by gmasboy at 9:56 AM on Apr. 3, 2009

  • If you start doing his work for him now, he will expect it later on....

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:58 AM on Apr. 3, 2009

  • I know how you feel. I just finished doing a Science Fair project with my Kindergartener. My 9 year old dropped out last minute because he wanted no help and did'nt like my ideas! He felt bad when we went to the science fair because he hadn't participated.
    To save yourself from feeling time, set a day when the project is going to be done and let him pick between a couple of things he can do. This way he feels like it was his idea. And let him know you are doing it together to share your ideas. His project should reflect how much time and effort he put into it. Good luck. And don't feel bad there will be projects to come!

    Answer by mamaada at 10:03 AM on Apr. 3, 2009

  • You feel guilty because you know that you should forced him to do it and not wait to the last minute.
    It's good that you did not do his project. My sister use to do her sons homework, he is very lazy. My sister kid is in high school and refused to do home work or work help around the house, so now he is failing and has to go to drop out school. His is into graffiti and does get into a lot of trouble. His mom did everything for him, Now he does nothing.

    Answer by gammie at 10:10 AM on Apr. 3, 2009

  • Sure you should have gave him more time to do it by having the proper materials & everything like that. He is still young so sure he needs a lil help with stuff like that..but as for the project its just fine he did it by himself. thats great imo. the teacher usually doesnt give out work they dont think the child can do on their own...
    Its good you didnt do the project. Because like the other moms said, it will come back to haunt you in years to come.. Whatever grade he gets in school should be because of him & not you... You went to school & earned your grades (RIGHT? lol) so now its his turn! :)

    Answer by MommaTasha1003 at 10:17 AM on Apr. 3, 2009

  • Just to be clear he did have a TON of art supplies and everything that he needed...

    Answer by kitten_shuga at 10:58 AM on Apr. 3, 2009

  • I think it's great that he did it himself. My 2nd grader insists she do all hers herself. Now my older child would love to just hand his over to me.

    Answer by michelle1219 at 11:08 AM on Apr. 3, 2009

  • It's mommy guilt! I agree with the others who say that it is alright and that he did it!

    Answer by mommystiebler at 12:36 PM on Apr. 3, 2009

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.