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Do you think we as a society are too soft on our kids today?

In the past, strict parenting was the norm. Kids were taught that morals and values were important, and winning wasn't everything. They were allowed to get beaten up, fall off a table, break their legs, lose at a sport game, and fail - and were held accountable for their own actions. They were spanked, given extra (hard) chores to do, stood in corners, and sent to bed without supper.

Now days, we give our kids trophies and don't keep score, we shelter them so that they never get a bump or a scrape, much less a broken leg. Telling someone you spank your child, made them wash the windows, or sent them to bed without a triple hot fudge sundae gets accusations of "abuser!" thrown at you.

So what do you think? What message are we sending our children? Is the "I'm okay, you're okay" generation too soft?

Answer Question
 
jennijune_21

Asked by jennijune_21 at 10:47 AM on Apr. 3, 2009 in Politics & Current Events

Level 4 (56 Credits)
Answers (123)
  • that's why there are more gays LOL
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:49 AM on Apr. 3, 2009

  • I dont advocate spanking, but NO form of discipline is not okay what so ever. I do not put my boys in a bubble.. My 16 month old is way too adventurous and curious to be sheltered. What doesnt kill you makes you stronger, I always say.

    I think parents who have no form of discipline, let their kids have what they want; when they want, etc.. is bound for a life time full of regrets.
    BEXi

    Answer by BEXi at 10:51 AM on Apr. 3, 2009

  • I think in a way, yes and in a way ,no.
    Society is too soft on things that do matter and too picky/strict/uptight on things that don't matter.
    Kiter

    Answer by Kiter at 10:51 AM on Apr. 3, 2009

  • Way too soft. I believe in strict parenting. I am my child's mother, not her best friend. While I do want an open line of communication, that can be accomplished by listening, not letting your child have everything handed to them on a silver platter.
    Mommyto1DD

    Answer by Mommyto1DD at 10:52 AM on Apr. 3, 2009

  • Yes, I think we are to soft on our children. I was at my parents house and my niece was allowed to do what she wanted but when it started effecting my son and almost getting him hurt I finally stepped in and told her to stop. She rolled her eyes and said she could do what she wanted. She's only 9, never has been disciplined her whole life. She has never been told no or have a time out. It just bothers me that she has the attitude of a teenager and I believe she has that attitude because she wasn't disciplined at all.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:56 AM on Apr. 3, 2009

  • Yes we are way too soft these days. I think kids still need strict chores to teach them to be productive, contributing members of society. I think we need to be stricter on our punishments when they do something wrong too. The punishment should fit the crime, I don't think timeouts work for everything. If my kids break something, they ay have to payf or it with their allowance depending on if it was an accident or if they broke something on purpose. If they hurt someone, they do something nice for that person. If they make a mess they clean it up. My kids are playing sports right now, and they are in a league that doesn't keep score and everyone gets a trophy just because thats all that is availabe to us right now. But we keep score at the games and talk to them about what they can do better and what they did right. They accept losing as most kids SHOULD. But no spanking. I don't teach that its bad to hit by hitting.
    AprilDJC

    Answer by AprilDJC at 10:58 AM on Apr. 3, 2009

  • Anon is really bitchy, I wonder if it's the same one...hmmmm

    I completely agree with you though. My son tried out for his orange belt in karate, and didnt get it, I WAS HAPPY! I knew he blew the tryouts, he was acting silly, and goofing off, but my mom who came to watch it was pissed. He went up to a 3rd degree yellow, but to her that wasnt good enough. Wanted me to throw a fit for it to the instructor, she said that we had already paid for him to take the classes for that color belt. I didnt care, I paid to have him learn karate, and try his best and learn discipline. But he learned his lsson, the next time he tried so hard and skipped up to a 3rd degree Orange, and was so proud of himself. He takes himself more seriously if he has to work for what he wants.
    AK_aries

    Answer by AK_aries at 11:00 AM on Apr. 3, 2009

  • My son has gone to bed without dinner... Not as a punshiment so much, but because he is mad for getting a punishment before dinner and refuses to eat. I don't feel bad. When he wakes up and says he hungery, I simply reply by telling him that he should have ate his dinner and he gets a drink of lukewarm tap water.

    We were coloring one night at the table, and he was messing around in the chair and fell, hitting his head a few times. Once I was sure he was okay, I told him basically "that's what you get."

    My son likes to run in the house. Every day, he stubs his toe. Sometimes as many as ten times in a day. He comes crying to me, telling me he kicked his toe while he was running. I tell him not to run in the house, and not to cry.

    When he doesn't want to clean up his toys, he gets to clean his toys, the bathroom, collect laundry, sweep, whatever needs to be done that he is able to do, after he gets a spanking.
    Crystal1124

    Answer by Crystal1124 at 11:00 AM on Apr. 3, 2009

  • Way too soft, parents would rather be their child's friend then their parent. Children need discipline and rules not parents who will let their child do whatever they want because they don't want to hurt their self esteem.
    sammiesmom2000

    Answer by sammiesmom2000 at 11:03 AM on Apr. 3, 2009

  • Yes!

    My hubby and I were both raised by strict parents and we turned out very well.

    Responsibility and accountability are the cornerstones of a successful person. Discipline and hard work are the foundation of a successful life.

    People ask us how we got to where we are today. I tell them we worked 2-3 jobs put ourselves through college and continued to work 2 jobs to build a savings. We also waited until I was 30 to have our first child. We don't spend what we don't have and we save our money. It surprises me the way people will go ooohhhhh or make a face. They just don't seem to want to work to get there. Very often these same people support the government taxing away more of our hard work.

    America is the land of opportunity. As a parent it is your responsibility to give your child the "tools" to reach the pinnacle of their abilities. You can help your child get the dream.
    yourspecialkid

    Answer by yourspecialkid at 11:03 AM on Apr. 3, 2009

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