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I need a little advice.......(a little long)

Ok, here's the deal, I just met my birth dad about 5 yrs ago, and we have a close relationship, I also met one of my sisters on his side (I am his eldest) who showed a little jealousy that I was all of a sudden there (understandable since I wasnt in their lives. They did know about me though.) Anyway, my dad called me yesterday and told me that his sister died and wanted me to be there. I am really nervous because I dont remember said sister, though I have met another in the same area. Any advice? What would you do? Sorry so long, and thank you in advance.

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Asked by loving_mom7 at 12:54 PM on Apr. 3, 2009 in Relationships

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Answers (4)
  • Go. Go for your Dad. He's the one who is hurting and if having you there brings him comfort, then you should do it. Try not to be the center of attention and focus on your dad's and the family's needs. Help with the refreshments. Join the women in the kitchen. You have an opportunity to show that you want to be part of the family and will pitch in to family does in time of need.

    Don't expect them to just jump in have to EARN your place. Being helpful and respectful and having the family's interests at heart is a great first step.

    Answer by companygoddess at 12:59 PM on Apr. 3, 2009

  • I would go. You said that you have a close relationship with you birth father and funerals, in my opinion, aren't really about the deceased as much as for the family and loves left behind to mourn and celebrate the deceased's life. Your father asked you to come. It could be that he wants you to meet more of the family too. But the main thing is he wants you there, so go if you want to.

    Answer by jenlenr at 1:02 PM on Apr. 3, 2009

  • Ask your dad if the other girls are aware of you coming. Most sisters have a differnt view than the other will so keep that in mind. IF she IS cautious, it could be because of the conversations that the other one has had with her & may be just cautious so just smile, be friendly & be yourself. Thats all you can do right now. Maybe in time they will warm up to you but make sure to be the bigger person during those harder times & so that they know that you are there with good intentions of getting to know them too & not just your dad. You & your sisters have something in common & that is the father. Their nature is probably just to protect. I hope that you & your sisters can build a wonderful bond & good luck on this wonderful journey!

    Answer by onespecialmom at 1:22 PM on Apr. 3, 2009

  • Thank you all so much for the advice. I have decided to go, for my dad, and, thank you onespecialmom, I will be myself (it IS all I can be) I will support and be there for any that need me. I too would like to know "that side" of the family, but I do wish it was under happier circumstances. Again, thank you all and God bless!

    Answer by loving_mom7 at 8:28 PM on Apr. 3, 2009

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