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Wild 2.5 yr old! What can I do?

My daughter is 2.5. Stubburn, hardheaded and VERY independent. She acts out in public everytime we go somewhere(screaming, won't get into basket, kicks). I ignore her most of the time. I try not to loose my cool, but sometimes I do specialy when everyone is staring at you like you are a bad mom. I won't even get into sitting in a resturant.

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jennieevlyn

Asked by jennieevlyn at 1:31 PM on Apr. 3, 2009 in Toddlers (1-2)

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Answers (7)
  • I just posted this to a previous question, but I'm pasting it here because it applies (excuse the pronouns, the previous question was about a boy)...

    It's a tough age. It's developmentally necessary for him to start asserting his independence. Try giving him limited choices (this or this) so he has some say in the things he does/eats/etc, but don't offer a choice when there is none. (Don't say, "Do you want to get your jacket on so we can go to the store?" when saying no isn't an option). Try to save the word "No" for those things that are really dangerous or naughty, and other than that try correcting his behavior by telling him with a positive statement what he SHOULD be doing. This cuts down on some of the antagonism you may be feeling.
    Also before you go out in public, talk to her and convey clear expectations about her behavior while you're there. And try to ignore the staring strangers.
    EmilySusan

    Answer by EmilySusan at 2:02 PM on Apr. 3, 2009

  • Hello!!! well i have a 3 year old and he is pretty bad... i am going to tell you as i did to question before!be consistant!!! if the dad is active then the two of you HAVE to be on the same page. dont ignore your child thats the WORST thing you can do!!! they will act out more!!! at that age you can start a reward system! it works and if your child is in daycre they will help out as well. but start with a plan with whom ever is helping you raise the baby. also dont correct each other in front of the child as far as disapline!!! they pick up on this!!! if you correct your spouce or other way around you will notice an attitude more twords the one who is being corrected!! stay strong 2 isnt the worst you have more to come!!
    pinklady09

    Answer by pinklady09 at 2:42 PM on Apr. 3, 2009

  • Discipline her. She doesn't take you seriously... why should she if she knows that there will not be immediate consiquences? I am a big fan of spanking, because it works. You are the parent, you HAVE the authority. Its not a matter of you convicing her that you are the one in charge, its about you taking charge. Ignore the stares from strangers... who cares what they think? it won't affect your life one way or the other if they stare at you. LOL... If someone stares at me when I am disciplining my children, I smile and wave... or if I get dissaproving comments I will ask them if they have something to say to my face? usuallyl they just advert their gaze and briskly walk away... only once did someone make the mistake of vocieing there opinon to my face...lol I doubt she will ever do it again. YOu have to discipline her... that is the only way she will learn self control.
    daughteroftruth

    Answer by daughteroftruth at 2:42 PM on Apr. 3, 2009

  • I spank her when she gets too bad then put her into time out. At home I have no problem with her. When I am grocery shopping or just shopping, she has the outrages. I took my sister to the grocery store a few weeks ago and my daughter was running off. I would go get her and spank her leg. All that would do was make her scream and kick some more. everytime I spanked her she would get louder. When I would try to put her in the basket she would kick her feet. I would spank her for kicking, then she would scream bloody murder a little louder. I don't even want to take her any where. I do talk to her before we go into the stores and tell her if she is good and quiet she might get a piece of gum or maybe a cookie. I believe I am trying hard.
    jennieevlyn

    Answer by jennieevlyn at 2:57 PM on Apr. 3, 2009

  • She is old enough to understand rules and consequences. Before going out, tell her where you are going and what you expect her to do. Tell her what will happen if she doesn't. And be sure that "leaving the store and coming home" are NOT one of the punishments you choose. That's what she WANTS. It's like telling a child "If you pitch a fit, I'll only give you ice cream for dinner"... pitch a fit and go home to your toys is NOT a punishment.

    My daughter knows that in some stores she MUST sit in the seat. In some others I will allow her to sit in the basket and in a few stores I will let her walk. But walking in the store didn't happen until she was 32 months. There was no way I wanted to battle her through the entire store, chasing her down, fearing she'd disappear the moment I bent down to pick something up. If mine acts up she knows she will go into timeout right there in the middle of the aisle, screaming or not.
    kaycee14

    Answer by kaycee14 at 3:20 PM on Apr. 3, 2009

  • The thing about spanking is that it doesn't work well if its only done when things get out of control. The moment the behavor starts is when its time to stop, tell her NO! you will sit quietly in this cart and behavior yourself. The the very next moment she steps out of line is when you stop what you are doing, and spank her, then repeat that she is to sit in the cart and behave. Stop the behavior before it becomes and issue. Once she is in the middle of the fit it will become much harder for her to control herself. Teach her to control her behavior before it starts. And I think a reward at the end is a great idea. I have four kids, if they behave themselves and follow instructions, then we stop at the bakery were they give all the kids a free cookie. They look forward to it and I think that it helps them control themselves.
    daughteroftruth

    Answer by daughteroftruth at 3:20 PM on Apr. 3, 2009

  • Oh, and do NOT bribe her. Tell her what behavior is EXPECTED. Not doing that behavior gets a punishment. Doing it doesn't get anything except a "Boy, you sure did listen and remember the rules today! Thank you!".

    I'd also drop the spanking and slapping. Don't you get upset and want to lash out when someone slaps you? So does she. From what I've found, it simply causes the behavior to escalate, it doesn't stop it.
    kaycee14

    Answer by kaycee14 at 3:22 PM on Apr. 3, 2009

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