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What Would You Have Done?

DH's parents have pictures of my niece & nephew on their wall naked lying on their stomachs & propped up on their elbows. I was never fully okay with this being done with DD & it was pretty much known by everyone in the family.

So DD is 13 months old & I tell MIL that she can take the picture of DD butt-naked for all the world to see & she tells me that she already did 6 months prior but just didn't want for me to find out about it because she didn't think I'd approve.

This happened almost 2 years ago on the day when we took DD to get her picture taken with the Easter Bunny, and it seems it's this time of year that I dwell on what I should have done or should have said.

What did I do? I stood there like a deer caught in headlights...I was so shocked that I didn't know what to say and, therefore, in the end, I said nothing. DD's pic is right now hanging on their wall.

Do you find this okay...and what would you have said?

 
AllAboutKeeley

Asked by AllAboutKeeley at 2:37 PM on Apr. 3, 2009 in Just for Fun

Level 33 (59,731 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (12)
  • Though what she did at the time was SERIOULSLY WRONG because of the possible legal ramifications, it seems you are now okay with the picture on her wall. What you are asking yourself is an "if you could go back in time" kind of question, correct?

    I think we all have a situation or two that backs up on us at times and we wish we could have a "do over" and do it better. As upset as you are that she violated you trust and risked so much for something that could have waited, by the time you found out the adoption was done and so was the photo. It is probably best that you didn't get super-angry and hurt the newly fixed relationship, and to revisit it now would be unnecessary.

    HOWEVER, if there ever comes another situation (especially another adoption) in which you feel strongly about something, you need to let her know how angry and upset that first incident made you and that you need to know that you can trust her.
    mom2alan

    Answer by mom2alan at 7:45 PM on Apr. 3, 2009

  • I can only say what I would do but she said I took it and didnt tell you because she knew you wouldnt approve but did it anyway is wrong. She knows how you feel she just didnt care. That would show me she wouldnt respect me and would go behind my back. My child wouldnt be alone over tthere anymore until I was given the picture and she apologized and promised not to ever go behind my back again!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:40 PM on Apr. 3, 2009

  • I would have told her to give them to me and Id have torn them up.
    I have no objection to naked butt pics BUT you did and they knew it and still went against your desires. AND behind your back to boot.

    So Id rip up the pics or burn them and say that since they went against your wishes you will not have them displayed.
    BonesDragonDew

    Answer by BonesDragonDew at 2:40 PM on Apr. 3, 2009

  • It's not too late to take the picture down. Legally, even if it's your child, it's considered child porn. You could press charges on her if she refuses to give you the picture. It's your child and it's never too late to make things right!
    DDry

    Answer by DDry at 2:43 PM on Apr. 3, 2009

  • I have a picture of my Mom in her "birthday suit" when she was about 4 months old... I treasure that picture because she's not with us anymore... She was on her tummy on my Grandmas bed. Its black and white and no one I know finds it offensive. As a matter of fact those that have seen it think it's really cute... I think people are so paranoid about everything.. If it was meant in a normal way, as in documenting the babies age etc then whats the big deal?? As for not asking you or telling you at the time then yes I would have a talk with her about it...
    4x4mum

    Answer by 4x4mum at 2:54 PM on Apr. 3, 2009

  • Ummm...okay 4x4mum, I guess you're going to make me say WHY I didn't really want the picture taken of DD.

    DD is adopted. The adoption was finalized when she was 9 months old. This picture that MIL took was when she was 7 months old. So MIL took a naked picture of a child that wasn't even legally ours. Talk to any adoptive parent before the adoption is finalized and you are paranoid about anything that could cause a rift in the finalization process.

    I didn't tell MIL until 4 months after finalization because we had a bit of a falling out a month later (IL's got mad at me because I wouldn't let them put DD's infant seat in a 2-door sports car) and it wasn't until DD was 13 months old that I had the opportunity to tell her she could take the picture.

    I have nothing against naked-butt pictures. Lord knows I have tons of them (if for no other reason than DD doesn't ever seem to want to wear clothes anymore! LOL).
    AllAboutKeeley

    Answer by AllAboutKeeley at 3:08 PM on Apr. 3, 2009

  • Im sorry, I didn't know the circumstances....
    4x4mum

    Answer by 4x4mum at 3:12 PM on Apr. 3, 2009

  • It doesn't matter why you don't like that picture, you don't like it and if you don't want it up, you should ask her to take it down. She can put it away in a drawer or something.
    Fistandantalus

    Answer by Fistandantalus at 3:15 PM on Apr. 3, 2009

  • I like what Fistandantalus said.

    If YOU are not comfortable with it, then it was very disrespectful.
    jennijune_21

    Answer by jennijune_21 at 3:19 PM on Apr. 3, 2009

  • when my daughter was 5 her godmother took a pic of her coming out of the bath tub and I never questioned the reason or anything I know she doesnt think perverted but I was upset and told her tht I didnt like it. this was before digital cams were big and i thought what must have they thought at the photo lab, needless to say I destroyed it.
    MAMAMISTY33

    Answer by MAMAMISTY33 at 3:28 PM on Apr. 3, 2009