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My mom is driving me NUTS!!! Need to vent and get some advice!

Right now I live with my parents (until November... it can't come soon enough!!!) My mother is driving me up a wall! I know how I want to raise my son. I understand that my mom wants the best for my son, as do I, but she is ALWAYS questioning my decisions or making snide comments or remarks. I would never ever do anything that put my child in harms way, I am certified as a infant and toddler caregiver and as an early childhood aide (part of an early childhood education program I am hoping to get a degree in.) I am by no means an expert at raising children, no one is.. but I am very well educated and am also learning as I go and using my education. Every time I try to say something to my mom about how I feel about her (backseat parenting approach) she gets extremely offended and rants and raves about how I'm always picking on her and this and that.. seriously! My sister (who lives with us as well) thinks our mom is being...

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Asked by alinker at 3:28 PM on Apr. 3, 2009 in General Parenting

Level 14 (1,666 Credits)
Answers (6)
  • ridiculous as well. My mother can say and do as she pleases, even if it insults me as a parent (and I've tried talking to her several occasions about it and have taken several approaches) sometimes she'll back off for a couple of weeks and at other times, as I've said before, she swears everyone is being unfair to her, ganging up on her, being mean to her etc. My dad is sticking up for her and yelling at me for "being disrespectful" I don't think I am being disrespectful. I have told her before that I appreciate that she wants to help but that I really don't want her input on everything but when I do I will ask her. I just don't know what to do anymore.. I am sooooo sick of living here and being made to feel like a bad mom and daughter because I don't raise my son how my mom wants me to. I am moving to California in November (which is the only thing keeping me sane at the moment...) How can I just get through the next 7 months

    Answer by alinker at 3:33 PM on Apr. 3, 2009

  • Unfortunately that is one of those things you have to deal with the best you can till you move. One of the casualties of living with parents and being a parent. I lived with my mom for the first year of my sons life, and it was horrible. Maybe try to talk to her when you are getting along, not just when she has already done something to piss you off Let her know that you arent perfect, but that you need to make your own mistakes with your son and that is the only way you are going to learn to be better. Tell her you want her to have fun being a grandma and not have to worry about the raising him part, and will she please leave that up to you. Tell her you love her and arent trying to pick on her but that you really want space to be a mom and learn which way is best for you and your son. Hopefully she will chill out a bit, try to not leave many opportunities for her to butt in. GL

    Answer by AK_aries at 3:41 PM on Apr. 3, 2009

  • I know it's hard, I have had to live with my mom since I've had my daughter also. I think it's just something that all grandparents do. They've done it before so they think they have all the answers. A lot of the times my mom is right, but sometimes I just want to do things how I want to do them! I understand how you feel. These seven months will go by faster than you think, then you will probably miss living with your mom. I know it's hard to believe, but very true! Good Luck!

    Answer by Kates1122 at 3:41 PM on Apr. 3, 2009

  • It's kind of hard to tell a woman what she can and can't do in her own home. Unfortunately, when it's your home, it's your rules. I can't tell other parents how to parent but if I were supporting them and their kids I would certainly tell them what they could or couldn't do under my roof in my own home on my dime.

    It's super annoying to be bossed around and the best remmedy is to move out. Until then, put up with it.

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:19 PM on Apr. 3, 2009

  • Unfortunatly it sounds as if she feels that just because you live with her, it gives her the right to tell you what to do. My Mother also can sometimes put in her two cents when it is not asked for, we do appreciate her advise and sometimes she is right. I think you just need to make the best of the situation, maybe tell her that you are not comfortable talking with her about your parenting, tell her not to worry, she did a great job raising you and now it's time for you to raise your own. Tell her you appreciate the advise but if you truly need her you will come to her. I hope it works for you. Above all, be thankful you have a Mother that is willing to let you and your child stay with her for the time being. Good Luck sweetie. Remember she is your Mother and wants what's best, sometimes it just doesn't come across that way. Cherish the relationship you have with her and don't let this rough patch ruin it.

    Answer by happyathomemum at 6:46 PM on Apr. 3, 2009

  • I got lucky. My parents don't do that and respect my choices as a parent. But if they didn't, then I would say, "Thank you for your thoughts" and leave it at that. If she pressed it I would explain to her that while I am very grateful for her help, this is MY child and I'm raising him/her as I see fit. She had her chance to raise her kids and now leave me to raise mine.

    Answer by Arisce at 7:03 PM on Apr. 3, 2009

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