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Is there something not right here or am I just being too sensitive and paranoid??

My husband and I are open with our email accounts and other computer accounts. So we know each others passwords and I check his occasionally and visa versa. Well an old friend of his from high school contacted him recently and they have been emailing back and forth. They have not seen each other in 10 years and DH and I have been together for the last 5 years. The friend asked about DH about his wife and kids. The only thing my husband said about me was that we have different religious beliefs and we are very different and it has caused problems sometimes. Now IMO our different beliefs have not caused many issues, especially in the last 3 or 4 years. He respects and supports me going to church and I don't pressure him into my beliefs and respect that he doesn't believe in my church. I thought that we were doing well. That is the ONLY thing he said about me. Nothing else about our last 5 years together or who I am. Cont

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 4:29 PM on Apr. 3, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (15)
  • cont
    BTW this friend happens to be a very attractive woman. They didn't date in high school they just knew each other. In the last week he has told her 5 times how great she looks, how beautiful she is, and how she should get into modeling. There have been maybe 5 times in the past YEAR where he has complimented me on my looks. When I confronted DH he just played it off like I am too sensitive, insecure, jealous, and emotional. She only live about 20 miles from us. So it isn't like she is on the other side of the country and he will probably never see her. I trust my husband and don't want to think he would take this any further than emailing, but I also don't want to think we are better, or above other couples who have dealt with infidelity. I am still upset that he could say NOTHING nice about me when she asked him to tell her about me.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:29 PM on Apr. 3, 2009

  • I would be utterly pissed off if my DH pulled that crap on me! Don't fall for that! He is emotionally connecting himself to her, even if it is through email. That's how it all starts. He thinks you're too naive to believe he'd cheat on you and he will tell you it's nothing, but that's what they all say! Don't fall for his crap!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:33 PM on Apr. 3, 2009

  • Alot of people don't divulge information about their mate. Some people regard it as a private issue. The other woman really doesn't need to know anything about you other than you are his wife. What would any information do for her?
    EireLass

    Answer by EireLass at 4:35 PM on Apr. 3, 2009

  • Sounds like your religious beliefs are causing more trouble than you thought if that's the only thing he said. I'd look into that and get it all straight before it becomes to a point where your marriage ends.
    RenaeMom3277

    Answer by RenaeMom3277 at 4:35 PM on Apr. 3, 2009

  • It sounds to me as though he is talking you down to her in order to get her interested. Perhaps with no intention of going any further, but perhaps he enjoys her atttention - and perhaps he feels that if he can minimize how much you mean to him that she'll give him more attention. Since you and he are open about read each other's email, I'd ask him about this and if the religious thing is more of a problem than you'd thought, and whether some more discussion on the matter is needed.
    Bmat

    Answer by Bmat at 4:40 PM on Apr. 3, 2009

  • Hummm, no I don't think you are being to sensative at all. I would't like my hubs having email conversations with a woman from his past, no matter how much I trust him. And it seems the only thing he has told her about you is negative. He compliments her all the time, but not you? Something isn't right with that situation.
    Familytyme

    Answer by Familytyme at 4:42 PM on Apr. 3, 2009

  • Something definitely smells a little fishy to me . . .
    jennijune_21

    Answer by jennijune_21 at 4:46 PM on Apr. 3, 2009

  • The fact that he said this stuff knowing you could/would read his e-mail tells me that he's probably not looking to cheat. Most people, unless they want to get caught (which is also possible), tend to try to sneak and hide what they are doing, no matter how "innocent". He may be, as others have said, just be trying to get some more attention from her, is feeling flattered by the attention from her. But, b/c the religious thing is the only thing he mentioned, that would tell me it is a bigger problem than you realized. I would sit down and talk to him, tell him how you feel about the conversations he is having with her, and that you are concerned that religion is causing a bigger rift between you than you realized and you want to talk about it and try to fix anything that might be wrong with your marriage. Good luck!
    tropicalmama

    Answer by tropicalmama at 4:51 PM on Apr. 3, 2009

  • sorry, i think your right. my hubbs compliments me EVERYDAY. he introduces me as "his better half". i think you need to take a step back and really look at your relationship, its not as good as you think.
    jbirchard

    Answer by jbirchard at 5:09 PM on Apr. 3, 2009

  • I smell fish too..
    I would think that a man would say possitive stuff regarding his wife..
    all he layed on the table was negetive to her..
    I would have to say my peace about this one...disrespect doesn't fall well with me..
    Dannee

    Answer by Dannee at 6:24 PM on Apr. 3, 2009

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