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I still love my husband but can't get him out of my heart. Should I file for divorce or wait for him to do it?

I told my husband to leave almost a year ago because I noticed a change in him. We were married for 18 yrs and have 4 beautiful children the youngest who is now 2. He didn't want to leave but I physically forced him out. Two months later I confirmed he was having an affair. He denied everything until I spoke to the woman who worked with him and stated she was pregnant.

My husband vanished after that for 7 months without contacting the children even though he only lives 10 minutes away. He and I only saw each other at court for the child support hearings. Its tax season and he has suddenly reappeared.

His first visit with the kids was interrupted when I received a phone call from his crazed girlfriend stating that it was her due date and he left her alone to be with my kids and I could have him back. He immediately left. The baby was just born. He does call the kids but sees them for 2 hours out of the week.


Asked by Anonymous at 8:45 PM on Apr. 3, 2009 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (7)
  • I would file hun. Even if you do love him, alot has changed. And do you love who he used to be, or this new guy he is now? IF you work things out, can you deal with the new girl in his life too? I would go ahead and do it. You dont want to wait for him to figure things out, honestly it sounds laike he is miserable and just doesnt know what to do, so do it for him.

    Answer by AK_aries at 8:50 PM on Apr. 3, 2009

  • If you love him than try to work things out, i dont understand why people say vows then never follow through with them, is it just for the wedding day that you truly mean it?!?

    Answer by Breezy1988 at 8:49 PM on Apr. 3, 2009

  • Jump on it before the girlfriend does. I mean financially. Go to an attorney now, freeze all his assets and get it moving. SHE has motive to hide his assets from you.

    Answer by EireLass at 8:50 PM on Apr. 3, 2009

  • FILE, FILE, FILE them papers. Yes, It will take time for your heart to heal, But in the end you and your children will be happy. Go girl before you allow him to cont. to break you and your childrens heart even more. Two hours a week with your children FILE if not for you do it and save your heart from anymore heart ache. Good Luck........

    Answer by raemommy at 8:52 PM on Apr. 3, 2009

  • I would file for divorce honey. He obviously doesn't care about the sanctity of your marraige. Theres no point in being married to someone who doesn't care. I'm sorry to hear about this, and I'm sorry for you and your children, but you don't want them to live in a situation like that. They will understand if you two are divorced, I was three when my parents divorced. It's better for them to understand the divorce then think whats going on relationship-wise is how relationships should be. Sorry, it's a little wordy... I really couldn't explain it any better than that though. Good luck.

    Answer by twocutetwins09 at 8:53 PM on Apr. 3, 2009

  • As Tina Turner sings 'What's Love Got To Do With It"? Get your divorce,and support.Child,and spousal

    Answer by Val504 at 8:56 PM on Apr. 3, 2009

  • File for divorce then sue him for adultry(sp?) That is insane. I agree with firelass. Get moving on it QUICK!!! And like AK aries says which man do you love? new or old? personally it sounds like the old one. He really shouldn't be not seeing the kids, just because he has a crazed psycho g/f. Be careful. Some crazy females are REALLY crazy, and will do anything to get what they want. Good luck. =]

    Answer by mommykayti at 8:56 PM on Apr. 3, 2009