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So Confused...

My husband & I are going through a separation & eventual divorce. It was my decision to end the relationship, based on his actions, & I know absolutely in my heart that I am making the right decision. I've had feelings for a good friend of ours for quite a while, but never acted on them because I absolutely loved my husband and would never do that to him (though he did it to me, along with many other things), but since our separation he's been the only one I can rely on who has been there for me 100 percent. Is it safe to be spending time with him, or is it too soon to let myself be in that vulnerable a position?

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 12:36 AM on Apr. 4, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (7)
  • That's a toughie. I would say that relying on an ex is not a good idea period, much less so soon, but it's kind of hard not to when you don't have anyone else. I mean, you MARRIED this man, there was a reason once upon a time.

    Do what you feel is right. If you find yourself starting to fall for him again, back off. He could just be trying to schmooze you.
    Ati_13

    Answer by Ati_13 at 12:38 AM on Apr. 4, 2009

  • Just to get the facts straight so the story isn't confused, he isn't an ex...he's a friend of both my husband and myself and has been for a long time. I've known his family forever.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:42 AM on Apr. 4, 2009

  • the grass is always greener
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:45 AM on Apr. 4, 2009

  • I say it's too soon. But it's your choice. Don't do anything you may regret later.
    If this man is a friend of your husband's too, I would stay away.
    BrendaMomOf3

    Answer by BrendaMomOf3 at 1:04 AM on Apr. 4, 2009

  • A friend is a friend is a friend. It's great that you can have a shoulder to cry on and an ear to hear all that you need to vent out. You should seek out a therapist for yourself to also help you in this time. Please don't do without or your next lover will pay for the sins of your ex husband.

    legalmommy101

    Answer by legalmommy101 at 1:26 AM on Apr. 4, 2009

  • i feel that is a real bad choice to be with the friend, u never know that friend and ur husband can be setting u up so i would be real careful, and i think it is too soon because i did that and it ended up not good, u need time for u... god bless u.....take care.............
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:20 AM on Apr. 4, 2009

  • I think that is quite suspicious. Pardon me for saying so. If you need a shoulder to cry on get a therapist and find a girlfriend (platonic). What happens if feelings develop. This is a rebound thing and will ultimately end when your emotions stabalize and the euphoria wears off. But thats just my opinion. Rock on!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:18 PM on Apr. 4, 2009

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