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Am I wrong for not wanting to let my son talk to his father?

Hi I lived with my sons father for 5 years we broke up in 2005. Every since then he doesn;t communicate with his son very well. In 2008 I tried to give him another chance to prove he had changed his ignorant ways. That didn't last long about 3 months and I am single again. For the last month my son has been calling this jerk every day to spend some time with him he says he can come over, then he is no where to be found. My son has cried 3 times in the last month. He says we use to be a family and you didn't want that anymore so I have to do what I have to do.I don't even recieve any finacial support from this man he owes me so much child support what should I do?

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Asked by Anonymous at 3:51 AM on Apr. 4, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (7)
  • I can see why you don't want to let your son talk to him...he seems (your husband)likes to make promises and then never follows through. Personally if you don't take a stand...this will affect your son in the future. Also the child support issue you can take your ex to court,I mean whether he likes it or not he has a son that he damn well needs to start taking care of!!

    Answer by jdbrown21 at 4:24 AM on Apr. 4, 2009

  • you aren't wrong. sounds like he has abusive personality.

    Answer by mrsary at 5:52 AM on Apr. 4, 2009

  • Personally I think that taking a stand about this situation is the right thing to do, if he's just going to keep letting your son down then in my view you aren't wrong to stop your son talking to his father, he may get upset now but in the long term it will hurt him less as then he can't be let down.

    Answer by HNK11 at 5:58 AM on Apr. 4, 2009

  • call your ex and set down some rules. 1. His son will call him one time a week. after that dad needs to call him. Fewer calls mean fewer discussions and fewer broken promises.2. If he wants to see his son, he needs to talk about visits with YOU, not mention them to your son. That way only you know if he is supposed to pick him up and when. So when dad does show up it will be a surprise. If dad does not stop disappointing him, stop the calls, if it is not court ordered. I see this alot of this kind of ignorance and it is pathetic. We cannot force someone to be a parent, dad's loss. Your son will quickly learn which parent he can count on. Never talk bad about dad to him, never, never, he obviously loves his dad alot. The simple fact is he just cannot count on him and remind him if dad says he is comming to see or get him, he may not. Good luck and hope dad wakes up!

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:42 AM on Apr. 4, 2009

  • tell your son the truth. Your father is not a nice man this is why we are not together. He likes to hurt the ones that love him. You can not change him.

    Answer by gammie at 9:50 AM on Apr. 4, 2009

  • If he upsets your son with empty promises, that's the lowest thing a father can do.

    I guess you have to talk to him about this, if he tries to upset you. He should do it on you, not the baby. He looks up on his father and i will let him keep that image in his little brain. Sooner or later, he will find out the hard way that daddy isn't that great.

    i won't stop your son from communicating with his father. And, dont' get upset with the unpaid child support. Trust me, this is another whole a lot of headache when you do get the child support from him. He is going to ask for visitations and mess up even more.

    Answer by yoshiki56 at 11:39 AM on Apr. 4, 2009

  • I think that a parent has a right to their children, and unless a court takes his rights away from him, then you should allow him to see his kid. I understand that he is doing things to hurt or upset your son, but intervening and saying he can't see his father, will only make you the bad guy in the long run. Your son will see on his own if his father is a bad parent.

    Answer by Pinkie_momof3 at 1:57 PM on Apr. 4, 2009

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