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How do I tell my sister I cannot go to her wedding w/out My S.O.??

Please help me. My S.O. and I have been together for over 4 years now, and my family doesn't much like him. My younger sister is supposed to get married this summer and wants me to be her maid of honor, and OUR daughter is to be the flower girl. BUT I CANNOT BRING MY S.O., NOT ONLY IS HE NOT INVITED BUT HE'S BEEN DIS-INVITED. I;m not sure what to do about this all, I've got a little prob. w/ confrontation.Should I just grow some and tell her she's being stupid? (She's only 18!)


Asked by Crystala99504 at 5:04 AM on Apr. 4, 2009 in Relationships

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This question is closed.
Answers (19)
  • This is a tough one. You said yourself that you have been with your SO for 4 years, your SO is basically your spouse. Would you be asking this question if your SO was legally your spouse? If my spouse was not invited to my sister's wedding, but I was along with our child, I would have a fit. I like the suggestion of just you going, not your daughter. Only go for the ceremony though. I would decline to be her Maid of Honor though. I would not feel right being her Maid of Honor when she cannot bring herself to invite my spouse. That's just me though. Yes, family is family, but your SO is your family too...just because you are not legally married, you have committed yourself to your SO. Good luck.

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:13 AM on Apr. 4, 2009

  • is this SO worth fighting for? if he is, i would not go. your priority should be your family (meaning your SO and child) and your family should accept it and if they can't then they don't get to see you either! and dis-inviting him is just rude and nasty! and the fact that she's 18 speaks volumes! good luck

    Answer by ericadrian at 5:09 AM on Apr. 4, 2009

  • Just tell her how much it means to you to have him there. If she does not change her mind, you should still go. She is your sister and blood is thicker than water.

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:20 AM on Apr. 4, 2009

  • You should respect her wishes. She is your sister. Your blood. Why would he want to go anyway if they hate him so much?

    Answer by Chrissy629 at 6:31 AM on Apr. 4, 2009

  • what is there reason for not liking him? Is he rude to them or not good to you. Guess I need to hear there side as well to make an informed decision.

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:04 AM on Apr. 4, 2009

  • I think its your sisters day not yours. I think you must go to wedding no matter what. Maybe when your sis gets a little older she will say sorry to you and SO for it but until then thats the way life goes. ( is your SO your husband)? because that could be a little worse if you and he were married.

    Answer by bristle3kids at 7:19 AM on Apr. 4, 2009

  • Nope. I would not go. I don't care. It's rather rude of her to say you can not bring your SO, especially if other people are allowed to bring *dates*.

    There may be more to the story, but it's a rather bitchy thing to do in my opinion.

    Answer by celticreverie at 7:43 AM on Apr. 4, 2009

  • I can understand why you are upset! Thats kinda shitty that hes not invited, but what is the real reason he can't go? What did he do to make them not like him?
    I would put those feelings is her day...If you don't go, you will regret it later in life! TRUST ME!!!!! I have 4 sisters and I missed 1 of their weddings and I feel horrible about it! I wish I would have just swallowed my pride and went.

    Answer by my_three_sons at 7:46 AM on Apr. 4, 2009

  • I wouldn't go.

    Answer by mattel_mom at 8:07 AM on Apr. 4, 2009

  • It is your sister's wedding and she does have the right to decide who can and cannot come, but with that said, since you and your SOs daughter is to be the flower girl, he has every right not to want her to be the flower girl. If it was me, I would go by myself, and leave after the ceremony. You will then at least be at her "wedding" but you are not staying to mingle with people that dont except you and the mann that you are choosing to be with.

    Answer by 2-1CavWife at 8:51 AM on Apr. 4, 2009