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My niece is on MySpace

My niece is 13 yrs and has a myspace account, her mother and I are all on myspace as well and were all each others friend. The situation is my niece has been saying an going some VERY inappropriate things on myspace; she posted pictures of her and her friends giving the finger during the time she should be in class, cursing, talking to her "boyfriend" & telling her friends that she's in love w/him; he's her "rock". I'm not on myspace alot but when I am I notice these things, I went to her moms page to see her last log in date and she hasn't been on since early March. What would you ladies do would you bring this to her moms attention? I thought about it but I want her to be able to talk to me if she ever needed to without feeling like I'd just run and tell. In the end I felt like her mom has access to the same info that I do and that she should be monitoring her; I have my own child to worry about what should I do

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 12:21 PM on Apr. 4, 2009 in Teens (13-17)

Answers (13)
  • I don't see anything inappropriate about her boyfriend. You find her telling her friends he's her rock offensive? Do you even know what that means?
    The bird thing isn't good though.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:25 PM on Apr. 4, 2009

  • I suggest that you speak with your niece about the issue. Let your niece know that those things are inappropriate and she better hopes her mom wont see the things she posts. Hopefully, that will be in her conscience and she won't post inappropriate things.

    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:25 PM on Apr. 4, 2009

  • Not your child, the most I would do is mention something to her mom like "did you see the new pictures she has on her page?"
    lilbit837

    Answer by lilbit837 at 12:37 PM on Apr. 4, 2009

  • I know exactly what it means ....... she's 13 ......... he is not; so yes I do think that is inappropriate .
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:38 PM on Apr. 4, 2009

  • What's wrong with her saying he's her rock? You know that means something totally and completely harmless right? It's eluding to the fact that he's always there for her!!
    lillie023

    Answer by lillie023 at 12:59 PM on Apr. 4, 2009

  • I have been there with some 'dubious' photos or text on these sites by my kids -and I often wish someone else would say... 'are you sure you should be posting such pictures, saying such things'? Maybe you can just email her... even say your worried about her, you don't like what you see.

    Sure you have your own child - but the few times a teacher or someone respectable reached out to my kids, even a bit, it was such a big help. I agree her mom should be watching, and maybe you should tell her eventually. I do monitor my kids as much as possible, but it get tiring to point out such things and to warn them that others see that info and it can give a negative image - yet, I don't think anyone has ever confirmed that - and I wish they would!!!!! to her/him, not me!!!!

    I do that too with my kid's friends - when I see a picture (like too sexy) I mention that I wouldn't like that on their site,and suddenly it disappears.
    PhillyinFrance

    Answer by PhillyinFrance at 1:01 PM on Apr. 4, 2009

  • I think that any 13yo saying that they are in lovee and that someone iss their rock is time for concern. 13 is way, way too young to be in love or seriously committed to someone. At 13 my sons weren't allowed to dat and if I had heard any of them say I Love You to ssomeone we would have had a long talk about it. My youngest son is 17 and has been with his gf for almost 2 years and it was until they'd been together for about 6-8 mos. that we let him use that word, he was 16. It's a heavy word.

    If my sisters would have seen or heard one of my sons (when they were minors, I only have 1 son who is still under 18) doing something inappropriate they would have told me immediately and I would have appreciated. In a family everyone watches out for their family. That's well, what family does. I have 2 nephews who are under 18 (8 and 15) and 1 niece who is almost 8 & I most certainly would say something if I felt I needed to.
    tracylynnr67

    Answer by tracylynnr67 at 3:39 PM on Apr. 4, 2009

  • So, I would definelty talk to her mom about it. Tell her to check her daughters MySpace page out and ask her to nott mention that you directed her to it. She can just say she logged in and saw her page and they need to taalk. Honestly, I think that all parents should be checking their under 18yo's MySpace and FaceBook pages out once in awhile just to make sure they aren't doing anything negative or hanging out, even online, with questionable people. 13 is a very vulnerable age and they are very easily influenced by their peers and by older teens at that age. So, talk to her parents and let them go from there.
    tracylynnr67

    Answer by tracylynnr67 at 3:42 PM on Apr. 4, 2009

  • Whats wrong with that,maybe she is in love with him and so what if she has pics of her and her friends givin the finger,all teenagers do that.
    MommaandStepMom

    Answer by MommaandStepMom at 4:20 PM on Apr. 4, 2009

  • I would ask mom if she has seen her daughters site lately and have her check it out. I would tell her to get the login and password and she needs to check it regularly. There needs to be rules set up. My son will be 13 soon and I know his password for MySpace and his email. I check on a regular basis, he doesn't approve any friends, look at messages or comments, I approve everything. He also doesn't have to ability to download pics, it he wants them downloaded, I do it. If he doesn't follow my rules, I will delete his account.
    tyfry7496

    Answer by tyfry7496 at 7:28 PM on Apr. 4, 2009

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