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what do you do when your friends kid is totally out of control, at your house?

My friend came over with her 2 kids 3 and 7, it was raining that day and they tracked mud all throughout my house, and im the kind of person who rather just suck it up than deal with confrontation. Her son went on a rampage with all the toys, was jumping on my bed, they spilled crackers all over the floor, was running around like crazy then ran into my one and a half year old little girl she went sliding across the floor i was getting so mad i yelled thats enough, i took all the toys away from him and told him to mellow out. She has asked me for advice on what to do about him but she never listens, its out of control, every time i give her advice she always answers but. . . i told her well it seems like you have it under control then. I cant be friends with her if she wont take control, how do i address this with her so i dont lose our friendship

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Asked by emleejane at 8:17 PM on Apr. 4, 2009 in General Parenting

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Answers (10)
  • I wouldn't let her bring her kids over to my house any more. That addresses it.

    Answer by louise2 at 8:20 PM on Apr. 4, 2009

  • I have an acquaintance with the same situation with her daughter when she comes over. I just take charge. I just tell her that if she likes coming to play at my house with my girls she has to abide by the rules. It helps make her behave and my house isn't chaos. Sometimes you gotta step in when the mom won't.

    Answer by Babylove76 at 8:31 PM on Apr. 4, 2009

  • I always tell other people's kids what to do in my house. If I didn't, they would ruin my house and probably end up getting hurt. It is my responsibility to keep others safe if they are under my roof. If they choose no to follow directions or get sassy, I just send them home. If their mom is here and I say to their child, "I really want you to come over again, but if you can't follow my rules I can't have you here." It usually isn't a problem. I have a lot of friends who's parenting style is different than mine, and we don't always agree but it's not my business unless it involves me or my children. Unsolicited advice outside this can cause tension in a friendship that leads to unnecessary drama. You don't have to lose the entire friendship over her parenting style, just focus on numero uno and be a good example.

    Answer by Steff107 at 8:40 PM on Apr. 4, 2009

  • house, my rules. Control your kid or I will. Otherwise, there's the door, we'll visit again sometime soon. Somewhere else.

    I have plenty of corners for my kids and hers if it comes to it.

    Answer by TiccledBlue at 9:03 PM on Apr. 4, 2009

  • When new kids come over, I explain the rules first off. No running, no going into my room, no yelling. If they don't follow the rules, I tell the child that we don't do that in Ms. Rachel's house. If the parent has a problem with it (they never have) they can leave.

    Answer by coutterhill at 9:14 PM on Apr. 4, 2009

  • TiccledBlue: PERFECT answer. I was thinking on those lines.....or..... tell them to get out.

    Answer by tyfry7496 at 10:49 PM on Apr. 4, 2009

  • yeah, when kids come over to my house no matter if their parent is there or not, i will enforce my house rules. i might let little things go some, but in general its all the same. i tell them all no running when they run, i tell them all to go outside and play if they are going to rough house, etc. no one is left out of these sorts of things. and if tjhey are acting out alone, i address my issues with them specifically.

    Answer by aly38914290 at 11:12 PM on Apr. 4, 2009

  • My house my rules, you let the kids know ahead of time what the rules are and if they can't listen then it's time for them to go home.

    Answer by sammiesmom2000 at 12:58 AM on Apr. 5, 2009

  • My house, My rules. No exceptions.

    Answer by motherofhope98 at 9:48 AM on Apr. 5, 2009

  • i agree, my house, my rules no exceptions.i also apply the "different house, different rules" saying, for example, grandmas house has different rules(cause grandmas a pushover), they are different rules at school, and if so and so's mom lets you do that at her house does not mean you get to do that here.

    Answer by pattisayshello at 3:48 PM on Apr. 6, 2009

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