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What can I do? I am miserable with my husband but would be even more miserable without him.

I love my husband. I really do, but he can make me miserable. He checks out other women all the time and always talks about who he wants to have sex with. He hardly ever compliments me and will rarely initiate sex. If I make a move he usually won't turn me down, but I want to feel wanted and attractive too. Basically there is a lot wrong with our relationship, we are very different people. I know that leaving him would make life so much worse. We have 2 little boys together and having to share custody would be horrible. Plus I don't think I could ever handle seeing him w/ another woman, let alone my children w/ another woman caring for them. I know that it would be hell for me to not have my husband around. I love to spend time w/ him and really care about him, but when he starts making those comments it hurts so bad. It is tearing up my self esteem to the point that I feel worthless to him.

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Asked by Anonymous at 9:46 PM on Apr. 4, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (7)
  • I would pray and ask God what you should do... I just hope he is not cheating on you all ready


    Answer by hinson7169 at 9:48 PM on Apr. 4, 2009

  • several months ago i was in ur shoes and i felt the very same way you feel...but i knew i had to make some changes and it worked it we're happier than ever....send me a message sowe can talk if u'd like to...

    Answer by JulieFrancesca at 9:56 PM on Apr. 4, 2009

  • Have you tried to talk to him about how you feel when he does that stuff? Have you thought about trying counseling? I think that you should see a marriage counselor and possibly get help for your marriage. You say that you don't want to leave him, then how about trying to work on your relationship.

    Answer by mom2acutiepie at 9:59 PM on Apr. 4, 2009

  • Have you talked to him? Talking can't do anything bad. Or worse I should say, to the relationship. Maybe he doesn't know how it makes you feel. And I learned this: Care more about YOU than him. He'll notice you're trying with yourself and I guess its a natural turn on for men? Do things for YOU. Lose weight if you feel the need. Gain weight if you feel the need. Keep clean always. Take the time to do your make up and hair, even if you never do, start to! It'll not only make YOU feel better, but it will show him you care about you and that will make HIM want to care more for you too. Trust me, I promise you, it works. And don't forget to talk. Give it some more time though, so that you can show him you care about YOU. Message me anytime to talk, and don't worry I've been there and probably am close to getting there again. I'm not judgemental. I promise. =] good luck momma =]

    Answer by mommykayti at 10:04 PM on Apr. 4, 2009

  • tell him how you feel that he needs to keep those comments to himself!!! that is very disrespectful!!! my SO and I had such big problems that we decided to take couples counseling and it actually has worked we learned to communicate better and thats the major key to a lasting relationship, for your low self esteem id do something that would make you feel good like getting your hair done or nails or something to make you feel pretty again im sorry to hear what you are going through

    Answer by Breezy1988 at 10:21 PM on Apr. 4, 2009

  • Im sorry for what your going trough i know how you feel and you know , talk to him and try counseling and if he dont want to do it ...It will never change and its not worth it , I know my husband does the same thing and i have talk to him for 7 years his better but 99% of the time he does it againg and it makes me feel really sad and my baby picks up on that and shes starting to notice and gets mad at him lots so the kids will suffer because they love you

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:53 PM on Apr. 4, 2009

  • Marriage counseling.

    And he needs to GROW UP a bit.

    Answer by gdiamante at 11:46 PM on Apr. 4, 2009

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