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My 4 year old is driving me crazy... Help...

My 4 year old is having crazy behavioral problems at school and I don't know what to do. Everyday I'm getting complains from the teachers, because she doesn't listen, she disrupt the class, she is mean to her friends, and she even smack another girl in the face. The school made me sign an incident report and everything. I just don't know how to address the problem, or what can I do about it that does not involve hitting her. I already tried punishment, we have taken her toys away, the TV name it we have done it. But it all has become a game to her, she don't care about any of the things we do to her. Usually when we tell her we are taking the toys away and the TV, she is usually the one who gives us all of her things like nothing. Moms I really need help. What can I do???


Asked by GodPRKitty at 10:21 PM on Apr. 4, 2009 in Preschoolers (3-4)

Level 7 (171 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (4)
  • I agree that a reward system would be a good idea, however, when your child is 4 years old, the rewards need to come from the teacher during the time she is in school. You rewarding or punishing her after school is to far removed from when the behavior occured. If the teacher is agreeable to giving out rewards, think about what REALLY motivates your daughter. Don't just give out stickers if they are not something she REALLY likes. The teacher could give her a stamp(maybe a character she likes) on a piece of paper or on her hand every time she displays the behavior the teacher wants her to do. Once she gets a certain number of stamps, maybe she can get a prize from the prize box. Also, alot of verbal praise given to her everytime she is CAUGHT BEING GOOD). At first the praise and stamps need to come frequently so that she gets the idea and buys into the system. Then the teacher can fade the frequency of the rewards.

    Answer by LovetoTeach247 at 8:56 AM on Apr. 5, 2009

  • Have you tried using a "reward program" type thing?
    Like for a good day at school with no problems, she gets a gold star - that equals some type of fun activity or toy for x amount of time... for x amount of starts per week, she get another reward, etc... maybe this will help? just trying to think of ideas for you hun... Good Luck and I wish I could be of more help

    Answer by onyourterms at 10:27 PM on Apr. 4, 2009

  • This is tough. First I would try role playing with her. Pretend you are kids at school and act out appropiate behavior and how she should handle situtations. Take turns and make it a game. You can each show a right and wrong way to handle situations. Make your wrong way funny so you get to laugh while you play the game. Example - Someone grabs her toy or whatever how should she solve the situation.

    Answer by MACY7108 at 11:14 PM on Apr. 4, 2009

  • This system can be done for the whole class if the teacher has others that are having behavior problems. It amazes me when I go into classrooms to consult and I see the"PROBLEM CHILD" having a great day and not one time do I hear the adults praising the child for the good behavior. Your daughter needs to hear praise for the good behavior many more times than comments about her bad behavior. To change a child's behavior, the adults have to change their behavior! Good Luck and let me know how things go.

    Answer by LovetoTeach247 at 9:01 AM on Apr. 5, 2009