Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

was i t00 harsh on my sister inlaws?

my partner's sisters are very bossy,when we found out i was pregnant and due to have the baby in december,his sister D" wanted us to spend xmas with her family,we declined as i had plans for our family. D" called my partner lazy ,she would even get their mother to ring and ask my partner,i didnt find all this out until after i had the baby on the 8th dec as my partner didnt want to upset me.
how ever when she called on the 16th dec and i heard on the speaker phone what she was saying to my partner(your selfish and never put an effort to spend time with us, xmas is a family day and you should all come out to my place,tell your girlfriend (me)how i feel about your decision to have xmas e.t.c i got soo mad that when she called again the next day, i blew up and called her every name under the sun, 5mins later his other sister T" rings and trys to order me around well i told her to F off too, they are never welcomed in my home now

Answer Question
 
roseknowslol

Asked by roseknowslol at 11:06 PM on Apr. 4, 2009 in Relationships

Level 1 (0 Credits)
Answers (8)
  • nope. not too harsh at all in my opinion. although, i personally might not have called them EVERY name under the son, i'm sure i would've thrown at least a few in there. i mean... if this man plans to be the father of your child, the man of your life... i'm glad he's making an effort to spend these special occasions with YOU.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:15 PM on Apr. 4, 2009

  • I think you just blew it when you blew up.... yea, you over-reacted and so did she. First off, every person has every right to have the holidays wherever/however they want and with you two just having a new baby, it's understandable that you'd want it to be together (likely alone on the actual day). She was out of line for saying those things to him, and you were out of line for calling her names. That's your child's family, that's your SO's family and family should never EVER treat each other that way even when they're upset. They should talk, and kindly explain why it is the way it is, not act like a bunch of jr high kids that don't know how to control their tongues.
    lisa_ann_p

    Answer by lisa_ann_p at 11:27 PM on Apr. 4, 2009

  • i know i might of over reacted, jeez dont you think it wasnt explained the whys of why we wanted xmas at home to her?? and in any event i dont need to give reasons of why we want xmas at home, in any case she and her family wer invited here but she said no, now i didnt get all ape shit over that!!!
    but the simple way is too have nothing to do with them lisa
    roseknowslol

    Answer by roseknowslol at 11:42 PM on Apr. 4, 2009

  • No, that's not the simple way, that's the easy way. You didn't say all of that in the initial post, so I had no way of knowing they were invited to your house. With you just having a baby, I'm surprised you even wanted to do it at your house, but it would be a lot easier for a new Mom to be near all of the things she needs, not to mention when he body is still sore (well mine was, not sure about yours). And no, I don't know that it was explained, I wasn't listening in on that phone call.
    If you want to stay with him, you're all going to have to learn how to get along, and cursing at each other isn't going to help (sorry but even if you don't like what she's saying, you can't control what anyone else says or does, but you can control what your body does).
    My advice is... to say "I'm so sorry but we've already made other plans as you know, maybe we can have a get together next week/whenever".
    lisa_ann_p

    Answer by lisa_ann_p at 11:53 PM on Apr. 4, 2009

  • well wouldnt you think it would be logical to have explained it to her first before losing the plot?? and of course i couldnt go into detail as there is limited characters in post!!! the simple way when dealing with idiots is to have nothing to do with them,i know i cant control what she says, thats the joy of being able to have a choice in who you have in your life, im with my partner, not his sisters lisa. but thankyou anyway :) and yes my body was sore, he came out feet first
    roseknowslol

    Answer by roseknowslol at 12:12 AM on Apr. 5, 2009

  • I don't know how you said whatever you did to her on the phone but I'm feeling like you're biting my head off on type here and all I'm doing is trying to be helpful. But when you're with a person, you are with their family unless they don't want to be with their family anymore. All I'm saying is instead of argueing and cursing at one another, simply say "we've already made other plans as you know, but we'd love to get together with you at a later date" so that you're not shutting the door on the relationship. But it sounds like that's what you want to happen. When you want to give more detail (it would've helped here), when you run out of space, type "continued below" and keep typing till you get it out.
    Wishing you much much luck with the family situation and congratulations on the new baby.
    lisa_ann_p

    Answer by lisa_ann_p at 12:20 AM on Apr. 5, 2009

  • ITS BEEN MY EXPERIENCE THATS SOMETIMES PEOPLE ASK FOR AM OPINION BUT THEY JUSY WANT TO B TOLD THEY R RIGHT AND THAT EVEN WHEN U DO GV A REASONSIBLE OPINION OR SOLUTION TO THE PROBLEM THEY HV ALREADY DECIDED WHAT TO DO. THEY WANT TO B TOLD YEAH U DID THE ONLY POSSIBLE THING. WHEN THEY DONT HEAR THAT THEY FIND OTHER EXCUSES TO REINFORCE THEIR OWN DECISION. SOME JUST DONT WANT AN OPINION OR SOLUTION. THEY WANT TO DO WHAT THEY WANT TO DO. THAT IS WHAT IT COMES DOWN TOO. I THINK ITS CALLED IMMATURITY. GL.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:01 AM on Apr. 5, 2009

  • maybe lisa you should read my comments over again, and see who's bitting who's head off, i already said thankyou and yes she was offered alternatives!!! and thanks for the advice on running out of space for comments as i am new here.
    as for ANONYMOUS in my experience with people who like to stay anonymous is they like to leave immature comments. what??? you must like to tell people what to do and have no reply!!! i dont need to justify anything, do you know what discussing a problem is?? some how i dont think so.. if i wanted to be told im right i would've closed the question off after lisa but no i didnt. so maybe ill leave it open longer in the chance that maybe you would want to reinforce your opinion! what it comes down to is giving a person options
    roseknowslol

    Answer by roseknowslol at 5:16 AM on Apr. 5, 2009

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.
close Cafemom Join now to connect to other members! Connect with Facebook or Sign Up Using Email

Already Joined? LOG IN