Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Should I leave my baby's daddy?

Before we got pregnant we were both teenagers loving the high life-literally. We both smoked pot every day we were together. As soon as I took an at home pregnancy test, I quit smoking. He did not. The entire pregnancy I was beggin him to quit; or at least cut down. A few times I thought I succeded, but he would always go back to his old ways. I threatened to leave him if he didnt quit twice, but each time he talked me out of it. Now we have our baby girl who is five weeks and we are living with my mother, and he is STILL smoking everyday. I hate it so much I cry. We are constantly fighting and it always comes back to his smoking. I am so stressed out with the new baby and he is just making things worse.

I keep thinking about leaving him-and meaning it this time. But is that really the best thing? I dont want my daughter to grow up without a father, but I dont want her to grow up with a father who is a pot head either.

Answer Question
 
oldsoulmom

Asked by oldsoulmom at 1:29 AM on Apr. 5, 2009 in Relationships

Level 3 (22 Credits)
Answers (10)
  • Are you my next door neighbor?
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:33 AM on Apr. 5, 2009

  • So how old are you both?
    faithful78

    Answer by faithful78 at 1:33 AM on Apr. 5, 2009

  • Anonymous- i sure hope not! if i am, please dont be a meanie and tell my mother about this- in case i decide to stay with him. if she finds out she will probably kick him out. so please please please!!!
    oldsoulmom

    Answer by oldsoulmom at 1:37 AM on Apr. 5, 2009

  • You already do know the answer to this.

    Your daughter already doesn't have a father. doesn't mater if he's present or not...he's neither a man nor a father except in biology.
    gdiamante

    Answer by gdiamante at 1:43 AM on Apr. 5, 2009

  • i agree with diamante.
    You already know the answer.
    And if he's not doing what it takes to raise that baby (which he's NOT if he's high all the time) then your baby already doesnt have a father.
    Word of caution: If you leave him, dont go back to him. But if he choses to be involved do not deny him that right but make sure that it is under safe circumstances.
    Best of luck to you!
    outstandingLove

    Answer by outstandingLove at 1:46 AM on Apr. 5, 2009

  • Yes do what is best for that baby right now and leave.Maybe if he sees your serious then he will be a father.You dont need to stress yourself out being a new mother and put up with it.Give him an ultimtim either his family or his drugs then leave.
    mommaof21986

    Answer by mommaof21986 at 1:51 AM on Apr. 5, 2009

  • i left my baby daddy cause he couldnt quit smoking weed i sat him
    down and said if you dont quit were done and my son was two weeks old
    but he was very ametuer plus he was fifteen i had my son at 13 he is 1 now only only seen
    baby daddy aka sperm donor 3 times his whole life if i could do it sweetie so can u but talk first
    tell him how u feel and if he doesnt stop hes not a man
    morganmommie

    Answer by morganmommie at 2:07 AM on Apr. 5, 2009

  • It sounds to me like you and your baby's daddt are in the same position my dh and I were in when we found out we were pregnant. It's a lot easier to quit using when you know that your baby's life depends on you not using. It's just not the same for the father. I wish it were, but it's not. It's important for you to explain to him how important it is to you for him to be a part of his child's life and also to explain that if he is on drugs you cannot allow him to be around the child because you could lose custody of the baby if he were to be around the baby stoned. I know it is hard to do this but that is exactly what I had to do to get my dh to stop. The bottom line is that now you have to make all your decisions based on what is best for your baby and a lot of them will be really hard but you will do what is best for your baby...hopefully. I know it's hard and you should know that you are not alone, okay?
    djsmama904

    Answer by djsmama904 at 3:08 AM on Apr. 5, 2009

  • It's too late. You two should have come to an understanding long before this, say the very second you played piddlesticks and the answer was Yeah Baby!
    Fistandantalus

    Answer by Fistandantalus at 8:33 AM on Apr. 5, 2009

  • I agree with fist - you should have discussed this before you started having sex with this man. Either deal with it or move on with your life. It's kinda late now to complain about him being a pothead.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:30 AM on Apr. 5, 2009

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.
close Join now to connect to
other members!
Connect with Facebook or Sign Up Using Email

Already Joined? LOG IN