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I boss my SO around and tell him what to do and I hate it..

he will do what i say just to keep from having an argument. we never used to be like this, and i can't stand making him unhappy by telling him what to do. he even asks me if he can hang out with his friends, if he can go do this or that. i've tried to stop but it's hard. he says i'm controlling his life, and i really don't know what to do, can anyone help me to stop?

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 2:14 AM on Apr. 5, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (7)
  • WE can't help you stop... only you and he can. I wouldn't ask my spouse IF I could go hang out... I might ask if you minded, but in no way would you tell me I couldn't go.
    If you don't like this about you... then you need to do something about it to change. Go get in therapy, order some self help books or something to find out why you're like this.
    If you don't stop tho... you're going to end up pushing him away. Most men want to feel like a man, they need to feel like they're atleast an equal.
    lisa_ann_p

    Answer by lisa_ann_p at 2:27 AM on Apr. 5, 2009

  • Has he cheated on you? Have you cheated on him and you feel guilty? My husband cheated on me and there are ultimatums because of that made by me that he can choose that are reasonable because of what happened or he can choose to live with out me.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:33 AM on Apr. 5, 2009

  • Is that your tragic marital issue of the day? LMAO! Sorry, but if that was the only thing I had to worry about, I'd be pretty happy! geezus! Consider yourself lucky.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:20 AM on Apr. 5, 2009

  • Holy bananas. I SWORE I was answering another question. Ignore my response OP! I think I hit the back button or something, because I know I was on the other question when I scrolled down to answer.
    -Anon 3:20
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:22 AM on Apr. 5, 2009

  • I boss my SO around and tell him what to do and I hate it.


    Well,you need to stop when you realize you are doing it.. He also needs to stop doing what you are telling him to do, so he is just as much at fault. If it doesn't stop now, he will just say to hell with it and go his own way. Would you let him boss you around? Would you ask him if you can do this or that? You are not HIS parent,but, you are treating him that way.If you can't stop, then you need help because it is a control issue. No one has the right to control anothers life

    Kat122

    Answer by Kat122 at 9:03 AM on Apr. 5, 2009

  • Role play in your mind sometime when he isn't around. You can either review an incident from before, or you can make up new incidents. Visualize his standing there and asking you and you ordering him around. Now visualize it again and change what you just did. Visualize it again and give the kind response that does not order him. For example, ask him what he would like to do, or what he thinks of this or that. Build up his self-esteem. He won't like being socked over the head, so to speak, forever. He'll meet someone who will make him feel like the king. So you much change. Do the role play thing and then next time you interact with him in person, you'll have a way to respond already worked out. Any time before you say anything to him, stop and think. Make yourself change. Good luck!
    Bmat

    Answer by Bmat at 9:24 AM on Apr. 5, 2009

  • ^^^ "So you must change." (sorry)

    Bmat

    Answer by Bmat at 9:25 AM on Apr. 5, 2009

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