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Is it my job.......

to make sure my in-laws see my DD? They are always talking about how they miss her and so on. My husband works with my in-laws in a family business so they could easily asks us for lunch or whatever. And i have expressed to them, whenever you want to see her, just call. Who should be the initiator here? Me or my in-laws?

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 9:19 AM on Apr. 5, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (7)
  • The inlaws mostly. IMO.... maybe you could call and ask for them to keep her one night a month or something so you and hubby can go out. They might feel like they are intruding or something and this would make them feel like you are ok and want them to keep DD
    ZaTa

    Answer by ZaTa at 9:21 AM on Apr. 5, 2009

  • If they miss her so much they should come over to see her or ask you if they can take her for the day. Why should you have to cater to them?

    joleensboys

    Answer by joleensboys at 9:23 AM on Apr. 5, 2009

  • If they live close enough for your husband to work with them, it seems to me it would be their own fault that they don't see her.

    However, in the spirit of family harmony, perhaps you should sit down with your in-laws and establish a certain time each week that is just for your daughter and her grandparents. That way, there is no confusion and no hurt feelings. They are probably afraid of intruding on your family time, and don't want to call.
    Kaelaasmom

    Answer by Kaelaasmom at 9:23 AM on Apr. 5, 2009

  • They may be involved in their own lives and wish they could see her more often despite their tiring schedule. I like the idea of making time with her a scheduled thing. Maybe not for them to babysit, which might be a bit scary at first, but suggest lunch on Wednesdays, or getting together every Sunday afternoon, something like this. After they are more familiar with her then you could ask if they'd like to try some babysitting for an hour, then for longer when they seem comfortable.
    Bmat

    Answer by Bmat at 9:32 AM on Apr. 5, 2009

  • Maybe they don't want to impose? Either way it is their responsibility. I live far away from all of my and hubby's family. I have always made the effort to travel so they could see my kids. My mother has yet to visit me and we moved here a year ago. She visited me four times in the eight years I lived at the last place. She complained about not seeing my son and I always felt guilty about it until I realized how much effort I was putting forth and how little they were.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:50 AM on Apr. 5, 2009

  • They SHOULD be making the effort. But it doesn't take much to call and invite them over for coffee, you know?
    gdiamante

    Answer by gdiamante at 12:44 PM on Apr. 5, 2009

  • Both of you should be making the effort. They are saying how much they miss her. They probably figure since you don't want to be bothered since you don't make any effort. They are your husbands parents. You've already told them they need to call first. I would see that as you need time to make an excuse to get out of it.
    Chrissy629

    Answer by Chrissy629 at 12:51 PM on Apr. 5, 2009

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