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best friends with an ex & kid invovled

Okay, so I just got dumped. The only thing keeping me sane was knowing I deserve it b/c I lied to him several times,it'll take time for him to trust me again,& time for me to change (I want to, I was a pathological liar, and acted like a psycho girlfriend) Anyway, now I'm moving to the same town as this guy, and he can see our daughter(his biological daughter) and me every day, I'm talking to him every day, and even had sex with him last night :(. Um.. Basically what i'm asking is, Should I be this guys best friend? There's a possibility in the future we'd get back together, we've been broke up before and he changed his mind, this time we need some time apart I think b/c what happened (no cheating, just lying, and me acting nuts like I said) Is it smart letting him see our daughter and myself every day (I thought maybe he could say I know how to not b e a psycho) should I start off that way- as his bestfri? I still love him.

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Asked by Po0okiebear69 at 11:32 AM on Apr. 5, 2009 in Relationships

Level 5 (79 Credits)
Answers (8)
  • The kid's his kid, I think it's good that you're near him so he can see his daughter, but you've admitted that you need to work on YOU, so unless you're someone who can completely disassociate sex from love, I'd suggest not having sex with him until you've got your head straight.

    Answer by Fistandantalus at 11:37 AM on Apr. 5, 2009

  • I would maybe draw the line somewhere else besides best friend, but no I dont think it is wrong as long as you are both agreeing about it that you and yor daughter see him everyday. But I would maybe ask about you start off dating again. That way he knows you are trying and he knows that you also dont want to settle on a friends with benefits type relationship.

    Answer by AK_aries at 11:37 AM on Apr. 5, 2009

  • Your not his best friend..Just a fu** friend it sounds like to me....If you two have broke up more then once..I do not think you two are right for each other.

    Answer by louise2 at 12:01 PM on Apr. 5, 2009

  • If the problem is on you, you need time to process and correct it first. He can give you so many chances, but you can still keep messing it up.

    Don't put the kid in between. He needs to see his child, and you have no right to keep this child from him for any of reason.

    Answer by yoshiki56 at 1:01 PM on Apr. 5, 2009

  • Long story short. I've been in his position, and yours. He wants to KNOW you're changed before he goes further. It's a VERY good sign that he still wants to see his daughter. Don't push anything. That might not really make it better. Change for YOU and your baby. He'll notice that MORE than if you're changing for him. If you are doing things for yourself and care for yourself first, they notice more. Don't try to be something that he doesn't want you to be. Ask him what exactly he wants. If he wants to be JUST friends, or if he wants to just stay out of the relationship until he knows you've changed. Let him know you're willing to change. Anything else just ask in a message. I'm about to be 21 and had my son when i was 17. I know what you're going through and plenty more too =] ive been through lots of things. good luck and i hope things get better for you guys for your daughters sake =]

    Answer by mommykayti at 2:15 PM on Apr. 5, 2009

  • Oh and AK aries has a good idea, by letting him know you still want him. Let him know where you stand and how you feel, and that you WANT to know where he stands and how he feels. =]

    Answer by mommykayti at 2:16 PM on Apr. 5, 2009

  • OMG, is that like friends with benefits? What are u gonna do if he starts seeing someone? u guys are just "friends". You are already starting it off with a lie. Your intent is not PURE. I get that u want 2stay around him, still have that "" going I get it but best friends can turn n2 my bf wedding? Ur doing the right thing about the baby though, time heals all plus it's summer u'll be knocking boots shortly.

    Answer by Jess288 at 3:21 PM on Apr. 5, 2009

  • I'm done having sex with him, I made up my mind that was the last time until we get back together. What do you mean it can turn into my bf wedding? Is that like me marrying him, or him marrying some other girl =(. Even being his best friend I think I'd still be very very very very hurt if he started seeing someone else, I know ya never know. but i didn't think he' d move on very fast, he never had a gf in high school, and only slept with one other girl. we're both living with our parents right now, and moving to the town where we both were gonna end up, (is that smart moving to the same town as him? Its the only hope on getting back together). WE have had a long distance relationship for these years, maybe bein in the same town will be a good thing, and once he realizes I changed, maybe he'd want me back and stuff.. we'll have to see.

    Answer by Po0okiebear69 at 2:26 AM on Apr. 6, 2009

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