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competitive boys

Any advice on how to deal with a competitive 6 year old boys. My son and his friends compete on everything and it almost always ends up in one of them being unhappy. Do you discourage competition or just let them be with the hopes that they will eventual work it out? I am asking moms of older kids hoping for some insight. When does this competition end or at least learn not to gloat about your wins.

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 11:38 AM on Apr. 5, 2009 in Tweens (9-12)

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Answers (4)
  • The competition will never end, I think it's ingrained in boys (little and big boys, LOL). A little competitive behavior is fine, as long as the winning and loosing is done is a nice way. No poor sportsmenship. You can be competitive and win but not be rude about it. My sons baseball team won all but 2 games and they did so without making the other teams feel bad about themselves. They were very nice to the other players, telling the players how good they played. When they did loose they did so gracefully. The players didn't have an option of rubbing the winning in the other players faces, if they did, they ran laps. Teach your kids that it is ok to win and to lose. If you try your best and lose, that is ok--learn from the mistakes. If you lose because you didn't do your best , there is no one to blame but yourself. If you win, great, be proud but remember that someone has to lose.
    tyfry7496

    Answer by tyfry7496 at 8:38 PM on Apr. 5, 2009

  • My boys do that too, with their friends and with each other. I let them compete, but when feelings start to get hurt (which they do) I usually step in and just try to get them to realize that everyone has to win and you should be happy for them instead of mad that you didnt win. I try to get them to have the mentality that they did their best and as long as they didnt give up there is nothing wrong with being happy for the person who did win, and as long as they had fun it doesnt matter. If they start the whining that well it's not fun if they dont win, then I tell them they are playing for the wrong reasons and they dont need to play anymore if they feel that way, they will usually only sit out for a minute or two before they get back in the game and all is well. Healthy competition is a good thing though especially for ittle boys, they just need to learn to be good winners and losers.
    AK_aries

    Answer by AK_aries at 11:44 AM on Apr. 5, 2009

  • It's much bettter for them to learn about these little disappointments now then allowing them to grow up thinking that everything is going to be fair and equal, then having them learn the hard way that life isn't so kind after all. Call me a mean mom, but I have my kids compete with eachother BECAUSE I want them to experience losing. They don't really get that in school anymore, so I have to provide it myself. It's good for them and a very important part of thier development.
    3gifts.from.god

    Answer by 3gifts.from.god at 10:11 PM on Apr. 6, 2009

  • It doesn't end. I have 3 boys- 17, 12 and 9 and my boys are very competitive.
    I don't get involved with it- I let them work it out with their friends.
    BrendaMomOf3

    Answer by BrendaMomOf3 at 11:07 PM on Apr. 6, 2009