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My 15 year old daughter..

My dd is 15 years old, she has a boyfriend and she wants to go over his house. Almost a year ago my husband and i found out she had sex and approached her about it, she admitted it and she regretted awfully. We took her to the gynocologist and put her on birthcontrol pills. She says that she hasnt had sex yet and i believe it for some reason. Do you think I should allow her to go to her boyfriends house with parents home, or do you think i should trust her its been almost a year so i think we need to move on?

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 2:48 PM on Apr. 5, 2009 in Teens (13-17)

Answers (12)
  • In my opinion I think putting a child on birthcontrol that young is basically telling them that it is ok to have sex. Yes you are preventing her from getting pregnant but what about AIDS and other STDs. She needs to know NOT to do it. You know what type of relationship you have with your daughter and whether are not there is a trust issue. But please stress to her the responsibility of having sex at a young age. If its getting to you why don't you have the boyfriend come over to dinner and a movie.
    diamondmamma

    Answer by diamondmamma at 2:54 PM on Apr. 5, 2009

  • If you trust your daughter I think it should be ok as long as you know for sure that his parents are home.
    Amelora

    Answer by Amelora at 2:58 PM on Apr. 5, 2009

  • if you don't want your daughter having sex then I'd say it would be best to have them hang out at your house so you have a controlled enviroment. his parents may not care if they are spending the evening in his room w/ the door closed. talk to his parents first & inform them of what you find 'appropriate' if they are to hang out there with them home so your all on the same page.
    theheartbaby

    Answer by theheartbaby at 3:38 PM on Apr. 5, 2009

  • You know, I have this theory that kids will do it when/where they want, and unfortunately sometimes BC will be an afterthought - no matter how much you tell them otherwise.

    If you really think she hasn't done it again, good for her! It would be ideal if you talk to his parents to see what they think about the kids being at their house, how much is appropriate, etc. and assuming they are reasonably in control of the situation and respectful of your wishes, I'd let them go. Otherwise, I'd limit their visits to your house... but again, keep in mind, if they really want to do it, they won't necessarily be doing it at home!
    PhillyinFrance

    Answer by PhillyinFrance at 4:27 PM on Apr. 5, 2009

  • Hell no just b/c they may do it anyways doen't mean you need to make it easy
    Praying

    Answer by Praying at 4:41 PM on Apr. 5, 2009

  • Sure, if you are uncomfortable talk with his parents and see how they feel about the situation... Will they be allowed in his room or made to stay in the living room with the family? If you don't know, as the parents. Once you know everyone is on the same page, let her.
    SabrinaMBowen

    Answer by SabrinaMBowen at 8:11 PM on Apr. 5, 2009

  • You did fine by putting your daughter on BC, that is in no means telling her it is ok to have sex, it is teaching her responsibility. It is unrealistic to think every teenager is going to wait for marriage or being an adult to have sex. I have an almost 13 yr old son and he has known about condoms since he was about 8. He also knows that I would like him to wait until he is older to have sex but if he decided not to wait, then he will protect himself and his partner.

    As for letting her go to bf's, as long as the parents are there and supervising, then it should be ok. I would allow it. They have to be put into situations to earn your trust. Do what you feel is right for your child and don't worry about what others say, she is your daughter.
    tyfry7496

    Answer by tyfry7496 at 8:51 PM on Apr. 5, 2009

  • amen tyfry! i work at a planned parenthood and i wish more parents would be responsible and talk to their kids about BC, and if their kid wants it they should be with them when they get it. no matter how much you stress to your kids that they should wait, more that 70% of them don't...it is irresponsible to NOT educate your kids about BC, and sdt's and sti's...you did the right thing OP! good for you!(diamondmamma your kids are the ones that come in and get the pill and condoms from me under fake names because they are scared about you hating them for making their own decisions.)

    as for the bf's house...i would meet his parents frist to get a feel for how they handle their son, and then decide if you think that is a good environment for them to be in.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:25 PM on Apr. 5, 2009

  • Well tyfry and anon I must be old fashion because I strongly disagree in allowing a 15 yr old to be placed on birthcontrol.
    diamondmamma

    Answer by diamondmamma at 7:50 AM on Apr. 6, 2009

  • only if his parents are home
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:03 AM on Apr. 6, 2009

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