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Should I let my 5 year old go live with her dad

My 5 year old has always had contact with her dad and he now wants her to go live with him but the last time she stayed over at his when I went to collect her there was no sign of him,and I've heard from friends he still drinks and when I was with him he was on drugs but I am unsure if he is and he's threatned to take it through the courts to get custody of her if I don't let her go live with him and it will cause major disruption to my 5 year old and I don't want to lose my little girl to him and I think they may give hi, costody as he is quite a bit older than me. what should I do?

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Asked by MommaandStepMom at 3:39 PM on Apr. 5, 2009 in School-Age Kids (5-8)

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Answers (7)
  • You know he has a history of drinking and drugs, don't know that he's clean and you're even considering it? Are you nuts?

    He's using scare tactics because he doesn't want you to go to court. Get a lawyer, have him investigated and take his ass to court to keep him from her if you think he's unfit.

    You went to get her and he wasn't there? What adult was with her?

    Answer by TiccledBlue at 3:43 PM on Apr. 5, 2009

  • Heck no. He wants to scare you into giving him custody because he knows NO court will allow him custody given that he was not there when you last went to pick her up, and he drinks and uses drugs. If he does take you to court tell the judge that you suspect him of using drugs/alcohol and that you have sources to this information. Tell the judge that he was M.I.A when you last went to pick her up. It doesnt matter if he is older, collect proof as to why he is an unfit parent.
    DO NOT just give him custody.

    Answer by AdensMommy1107 at 3:52 PM on Apr. 5, 2009

  • He can't get a custody change just because he wants it. He must prove a change of circumstances in *the child's* YOU becoming addicted to drugs or some other issue that would endanger the child. He's blowing smoke, trying to scare you into giving him custody.

    Relax. Google custody guidelines for your state. They're pretty easy to find, and it will give you all the information on what he'd have to prove to get a custody change. It'll make you feel better when you see how impossible it really is under normal circumstances.

    Answer by desert_diva at 4:36 PM on Apr. 5, 2009

  • What you need to do is NOT let your child go and live with him ... YOU then NEED to contact an attorney and get all of your questions answered thru him/her in a legal fashon...
    Since you know he has a history with drugs and drinking, then you want proof that he no longer does any of it....
    I agree with another poster that he is just using scare tatics on you... DON'T give in to them...

    Answer by gmasboy at 4:43 PM on Apr. 5, 2009

  • i agree with all of the above mentioned posters. his age should not play a factor.

    Answer by aly38914290 at 5:45 PM on Apr. 5, 2009

  • Just let him petition the court for custody. As the others have said his age is not going to make a difference, he is just trying to scare you into giving up without a fight.


    Answer by goaliemom93 at 6:30 PM on Apr. 5, 2009

  • Thank you all of you and I will get a lawyer or atterney or something and take him to court.thank you for all your help and support :)

    Answer by MommaandStepMom at 5:23 AM on Apr. 6, 2009

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