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Well I think I messed up by getting overly angry at my DF, because of coffee, when really its because of so much more

I freaked out on my DF today because I asked him to go and get me a cup of coffee from the store (we dont have a coffee maker yet) I had to beg him over and over again just to get him to go, then finally I just told him to forget it because he just goes whenever it convient for him, so he goes and comes back with coffee which ended up going down the drain, really I am not mad about the coffee thing I am angry because of all the drama his ex (babys mama) has caused for us, I am angry because between the two of them its just a big pssing contest on money and custody, and now because of all of this myself and our son have to suffer. I am just sick of it, sick of being stressed out about it, he wants to take the boys from her but, I know if he does I dont think it will be as great as he thinks it will be. Number 1 they have lived with their mom their whole life and I cant see them suddenly being taken away from her as a good --->>

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 5:16 PM on Apr. 5, 2009 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (6)
  • I think you (as in you and DF) SHOULD try to get custody of those boys. You and him can CHANGE the discipline factor and it won't take too long as long as you are consistent. Some baby moms CAN be completely insane. It's really an everyday thing. I understand COMPLETELY what you mean and how things are going for you. You need to take a time out for your self. Get a babysitter for one whole day. From like 10 AM till like 5/6PM. Take the day and write down your options. Think about what YOU want out of this relationship. Then either write him a letter and tell him your feelings since it sounds hard for you to talk about them, or talk to him in a CALM situation without the child there, or while the child is sleeping. It wont be easy and it WILL take time and work. But with a little faith and love, you can conquer all. Message me for any one on one advice or situation and I'll try my best to help. Good luck momma!! =]
    mommykayti

    Answer by mommykayti at 5:49 PM on Apr. 5, 2009

  • thing for them, although at the same time its not the best for them there because she is nuts, and just wants money, the whole thing is so backwards and I just have this horrible feeling that if they came here to live with us it would interfere with the way I want to raise our son. His other kids have very little disapline and while thats not their fault if they come to stay here all the time it will become an issue. I am so confused, I have so many mixxed feelings about this whole thing and I dont know what to do. After our fight he told me to just leave then, he knows I wont because I do love him very much, but all of these things are taking there toll on me and I have NEVER been in this position before so I am not sure how exactly to handle all of it. Yes I knew he had kids before but I never thought that things would be like this, I have never dated or been with someone who has kids so all of this is new to me----->
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:20 PM on Apr. 5, 2009

  • How can I explain these feelings I have to him with out offending him? How can I tell him that it wasnt the coffee that I am upset about, but its all these other factors? I love him and chose to be with him in spite of the fact that he has "baggage", I just dont know how to deal with all of this. He is gone now he left for work after telling me that I should be such a cunt, which I was being but I just need him to understand that this is difficult for me and that I dont think hs decision are best in alot of this, someone please help me out here what do I do?
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:23 PM on Apr. 5, 2009

  • first- you have to realize those kids could be in the house tomorrow. If something happens to the mother- then those kids will be in his custody. That is something you should know is a possibility. It sounds like you need to do some soul searching and decide is this man AND his children what you want in your life. They are a package deal. You don't get one without the other.
    ZaTa

    Answer by ZaTa at 5:25 PM on Apr. 5, 2009

  • Sounds like you just don't want to or cant handle taking care of more children and I dont blame you, but if you love you DF then you should do what makes him happy and it sounds if he does get the boys it will be less stress all around.
    soonmommyof3

    Answer by soonmommyof3 at 5:25 PM on Apr. 5, 2009

  • Let the coffee thing go and talk to him about what is eating away at you. Successful relationships depend on good communication skills.
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 7:41 PM on Apr. 5, 2009

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