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is it natural to have a lot of arguments with the baby's father during pregnancy, especially if your a teen mother?

me and my boyfriend have been having fight after fight after fight. we have never had this much trouble till i got pregnant. i always feel stressed. i know its not good for the baby either. im so quick to run away. i dont want to leave him but i don know what else to do. we want to get married but it seems to impossible right now. we really love each other but its so hard so get along for even a minute.

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ladiienigma

Asked by ladiienigma at 2:21 AM on Apr. 6, 2009 in Relationships

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Answers (7)
  • I am the same way with mine. I am confused alot and I know I can start the fight's alot but my docter told me It's just my hormones. I know I need alot of attention and want him to show it more but often feel like hes in his own little world. Men just don't understand us the way we want them too while being pregnant so I guess we just have to deal with it for now. GL
    faithsMoM27

    Answer by faithsMoM27 at 2:25 AM on Apr. 6, 2009

  • It's very normal. This is not meant as a bash, so please read this with a "nice" tone to it :-) -

    Your hormones are out of whack - teenagers have hormonal surges that cause this, and being pg causes this. You put the two together, and BAM! Having a kid, even when you're happy about it, is stressful, you worry if everything is going to be ok, if you're ready, etc. That's hard enough to deal with as an adult, even harder when you're a teen and still going through everything puberty brings with it.

    Since you're both teenagers, I'm assuming that at most you've been together a yr or so. That might seem like forever when you're a teen, but at that point in a relationship you're still generally working out your relationship, and that can be stressful enough for anyone. Add a baby to it, and it's even more so. Do this as a teen, and again, it's harder still.

    All of it combined is going to make this not impossible but harder
    sailorwifenmom

    Answer by sailorwifenmom at 4:44 AM on Apr. 6, 2009

  • Agreeing with sailorwifenmom
    Kari_Noelle

    Answer by Kari_Noelle at 5:22 AM on Apr. 6, 2009

  • It depends on what you're arguing about. If you're arguing about little things that don't really matter, then it's going to pass. If you're arguing about things like him getting a job or him changing in some way that's important to your soon-to-be-new-family, then it won't pass and you need to deal with the situation. Is there any way for you two to get some counseling? That might really help at this point.
    Fistandantalus

    Answer by Fistandantalus at 8:11 AM on Apr. 6, 2009

  • my So and I started arguing more when I got pregnant too, he has said its like Im PMSn for nine months because I can have major mood swings especially when im tired or hungry or both lol also im an emotional pregnant lady some days look at me cross eyed youll probably see tears. You need to understand hes not understanding what you are going through right now, my SO didnt understand why I was eating more and tired all the time, it took an ultrasound for him to finally understand more (found out we were having twins) he still hasnt comprehended why I eat so much more than I used to. What we did was go to couples counseling because you two wanna get married I would advise it to, because marriage is not easy and a kid on top of that makes it twice as stressful
    Breezy1988

    Answer by Breezy1988 at 9:12 AM on Apr. 6, 2009

  • if you both are teens, it's normal. There isn't enough experience and maturity to handle what's going on. You have so much to deal with and not many answers available to you not to mention the hormone thing that was brought up. Remember it takes two to argue. If it starts, try to just not say anything. The argument cannot continue if you don't keep it up. I found out where the old "yes Dear" saying came from. I decided to quite fighting with my x one time. I just agreed with everything and said "Yes Dear" to everything he wanted to fight about. I did it to really make fun of him but he thought I was agreeing with everything he said. It was funny. I still did what I wanted. I just ignored his arguments. It will be fine.
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 10:06 AM on Apr. 6, 2009

  • This is pretty typical for relationships like yours. It is one thing to be footloose and fancy free, but it is quite another to be facing the responsibility of a family. This is why it is always best to find that one person who is ready to love you for who you are on the inside, who wants to commit to having you as his wife for the rest of his life, who is willing to wait until after marriage to have sex, and who is able to provide for that family. When you get those things out of order, you wind up in the situation you are now in. There is an order of bonding in marriage, and whenever those steps are violated, confusion results. Since you are so young, maybe you should consider breaking off this relationship, putting the baby up for adoption to a stable two-parent home, and waiting until such time as you are ready to bond correctly before having sex again. That's what I would recommend. Think about the life of the baby
    NannyB.

    Answer by NannyB. at 10:21 AM on Apr. 6, 2009

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