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What would you do? I say he's cut off for a while or at least till he finally gets why I feel like this.

DH worked out of town last week . On Fri. he phoned, wanted me to drive down (2 hr drive). I get there; he passes out on me. Sat. I drive home. Sat. evening he gets home about 6PM. Spends the rest of the evening shopping for an iPod FM converter and downloading more music. (There will be time together on Sun.) Sun. I get up, shower, make me pretty for him; he sleeps till noon. Gets up, go to iHop, then more shopping for shoes for him. We get done about 3PM. I spend 2 hours restoring his iPod ( he messed it up), now it's 5:30PM. He's gotta get up at 2AM to go back out of town til Wed. But spends the next 4 hrs downloading more music. We go to bed, now he wants to be friendly, yeah right. NOT! Fri nite , Sat , Sun he ignores me. Now he's all about "I'm sorry about the weekend" but don't get why I didn't want sex Sun nite. I tried a few times, but ipod took priority over me. By Sun evening I was like, to hell with it.

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 4:52 AM on Apr. 6, 2009 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (6)
  • I understand. I think I would just tell him that you know that from his point of view, he's only home for a short time, so he wants to do all this stuff. BUT, from your point of view, he's only home for a short time, and when he does all this stuff, it's like he's saying that EVERYTHING - Ipods, shoes, etc, is more important to him than you are. And that when you feel unimportant and unloved, you don't feel like sex.

    I would suggest to him that he try to do his shopping and etc while he's gone during the week.

    But I think your feelings are very normal!
    sailorwifenmom

    Answer by sailorwifenmom at 5:57 AM on Apr. 6, 2009

  • OP here. I honestly felt like if I had given it up to him after him spending so much time (the only time we had together) ignoring me, then it would be like I was saying "that's fine, you don't have to spend quality time with me to get quality from me". I was not about to compromise what is acceptable and what is not. And spending the short weekend we had together with his iPod insead of me was not cool at all.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:01 AM on Apr. 6, 2009

  • I'm with the hubby, I know it's stupid, but he got the new toy and he was like a kid about it and had to get it working (and then you had to fix it) and he was all about that. He knew you'd be there so he let the excitement of the toy take priority. I'm guilty of that and I know that's wrong but ti's true. It's not that the ipod is more important, it's just that I'm excited, I want to play with the new toy, I want the music on there so when I go somewhere it's already ready to play.
    Next time, go sit in his lap and put whatever it is down and say something really suggestive and maybe he'll get the hint.
    BTW, you were really nice to him while he was home for the weekend. When my hubby was home on the weekends, I was busy getting his things ready to go back for the next week again and seemed like we still didn't get any time together.
    lisa_ann_p

    Answer by lisa_ann_p at 8:04 AM on Apr. 6, 2009

  • I understand how you feel. But guys just don't think like we do. Its not an excuse its just how it is sometimes they just dont get it. Try talking to him when you both are calm. Tell him exactly how you felt not to start a fight but tell him you miss him and spending time together is very important. Maybe you guys should set up a date for every weekend you have together. Maybe this way if you set a certain time aside just for the two of you maybe it will work out. Best of luck!
    mikeysmomma1205

    Answer by mikeysmomma1205 at 8:59 AM on Apr. 6, 2009

  • Nope not with hubby here..
    Where are his priorities...they need to be you first..
    I would let him know that too..I would let him know how you feel also..
    Guys are stupid they need to be told things unfortunatly...
    That is exactly what I would do tell him that his priorites are messed up..
    Dannee

    Answer by Dannee at 9:29 AM on Apr. 6, 2009

  • Men don't "Get" anything. They have to be told straight out. Don't waste precious time hoping he'll figure it out.
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 9:57 AM on Apr. 6, 2009

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