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men... what is up their butt?

Ok... heres the whole story my SO and i have been together 5 years going 6 this coming october.(if we make it that far!) okay so we got together and three months later we moved out and i got preg with our son. okay cool.. so alot has happened between us well mostly him he's effe'd up alot and i'm still here basically.. well this morning i come home and i checked my computer (theirs another question about this one) about the penis pic and a video of some girl some saggy titts! so i go up stairs and i tell him to give me my blanket and pillow because i can not stand to sleep next to him.. he starts asking me whats wrong and i was like like you dont effin know.. it turned out to be like a WW3 or something.. so then i finally tell him and he tells me that he talks to all these girls online because he's a nymph he's not going out and having sex with them, he just likes to talk to them.. and i'm sitting over here like wtf? and well

 
MommaBear1129

Asked by MommaBear1129 at 5:17 AM on Apr. 6, 2009 in Relationships

Level 2 (6 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (11)
  • Personally if I found that out his arse would of been sent flying. He is either devoted to you or not. I would be creeped out if I found out what you did.

    I know you say it has been nearly 6 years, so it may be difficult for you to leave him etc but I would not stay with someone like that. I would say you either sort your issues out and devote your time to me or it's over. As you do deserve better.

    If he can't live without you then I am sure he can stop talking to these people although the the fact that he already has and they were naked I would leave anyway, but that's just me. If you want to stay with him and work it out, just tell him this stops right now or I am gone, take your pic. xx
    Blondielicious

    Answer by Blondielicious at 5:38 AM on Apr. 6, 2009

  • Cont'..

    okay so then he goes and tells me that he doesnt know who he is anymore that things have changed.. and i'm like ok.. then effin talk to me!! and he's like its hard for me to talk to you and i'm like uuuuuuuuuuuuhhh.. okk.. then he tellsm e that he cant live without me!

    i'm just so confused i'm not even mad anymore..

    i'm just wondering what the next step should be for me... do i talk to him? or not?
    really help me out here! t


    Thank you!
    MommaBear1129

    Answer by MommaBear1129 at 5:19 AM on Apr. 6, 2009

  • I don't know if it's a question of talking to him or not, or if it's more a question of give him some space or not. (As in his own space without you). I knew a guy once who was a sex addict. Turned out in the end that he was literally having sex with like 13 different women (all booty calls - he was a cop). Anyhow, this guy effed up two marriages and in the end wound up saying that he 'could never find himself' because he was always in a relationship of some kind. I don't know if any of this helps you or not, but in my honest opinion, your intimate life with your SO is very, very valuable and is something to be cherished and coveted. It's not to be shared with other women, and he's sharing with other women. Like it or not, he's devoting himself outside of the relationship and you deserve better. If he's a nymph, then fine, jump your bones 5 times a day, he should not be sharing this part of your lives with strangers.
    PaceMyself

    Answer by PaceMyself at 5:28 AM on Apr. 6, 2009

  • i would be more mad that he's showing a pic of his penis to other women. and getting pics of them. cause u know there not talken about the weather. to me he's cheating on u and even if its only gone as far as his comp when will he actully go out and do it. could be only a matter of time. as for his xcuse when he was caught thats just it... an xcuse. like saying opps my bad. i would be livid, funny how they can crumble when they think there goona lose u but then u forgive and it goes back u will always have to keep your eyes open.. is that worth it? i was with my x 7 1/2 years i left moved on and im married now to a much better man so life wasent over u have to make a decision do u deal with this and hope it turns out or do you move on or listen to xcuse after xcuse. good luck its a hard decision but in the end look what makes u happy and how you want your life
    tabbys4

    Answer by tabbys4 at 7:36 AM on Apr. 6, 2009

  • I have more of a problem with him showing the pic of his penis too... there's pics of women and men all over the net, but that doesn't mean that mine has to be.
    Men use that excuse all the time and I guess women do too and it's just so stupid... if you don't know who you are, how does your naked body, internet and camera help you find yourself?
    I personally would give him another chance, but I'd put the block on the computer so that he can't look at any of it online anymore if you have a problem with that.
    lisa_ann_p

    Answer by lisa_ann_p at 7:58 AM on Apr. 6, 2009

  • Im sorry, but the guy is insulting you by doing this and saying he can't be without you and crap like that... cuz doing that will make him lose you... He just wants his cup of tea and sugar too... Just leave! Theres no fixing someone who doesnt want to be fixed.... He is the one who has got to change to make things work, not make you bend over backwards and put your emotions aside to stay together..... In the end you will be an empty shell and ultimately its not worth it.
    soonmommyof3

    Answer by soonmommyof3 at 8:45 AM on Apr. 6, 2009

  • IMO I think he's had his chances to prove himself... I think it's time to move on, you're letting him define your happiness and that's not fair to you! You should move on, be happy and be able to live a peaceful life!
    4x4mum

    Answer by 4x4mum at 9:17 AM on Apr. 6, 2009

  • You need to be open to what he is saying. Men can't talk like women do. They clam up when we don't understand them, and they are way more insecure about being judged then we are. He doesn't know HOW to talk to you. He's confused. He wants to be with you, but he is having other feelings, too. And he can't help that, he can just help what he does about them. You two have a lot invested in this relationship, you have a kid. You can't just ditch him because he is trying to figure things out. So he's talking to women online. Yes, it's inappropriate. But atleast it's online, and he isn't out cheating on you. I bet that these women let him talk to him, and don't let their own emotions get involved. Now, depending on what he is effing up, well, we don't know about those things. Has he cheated? Is he extremely selfish and self centered? Or does he just make dumb, immature decisions? It's hard to give advice with only a little bit of
    Buffie95

    Answer by Buffie95 at 9:19 AM on Apr. 6, 2009

  • info. The more you put him on edge about how he feels, the more he won't be able to talk to you. You kinda have to seperate your own feelings, and remain neutral so he can talk to you. It's hard, and it will take a while. But if it's worth it, then you need to do it.
    Buffie95

    Answer by Buffie95 at 9:20 AM on Apr. 6, 2009

  • I do need to add, don't let him walk on you either. If he wants you to respect him, he needs to respect you. It's time to act like a grown up, figure things out. You may not be married, but you have a kid. You need to think about that, too.
    Buffie95

    Answer by Buffie95 at 9:21 AM on Apr. 6, 2009