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I am feeling bad for my 16 yo dd

My dd told me this weekend that her boyfriends father does not like her and has been told that his father feels that he could find someone better because of the "stress" that my dd has been putting on her boyfriend. I wish I knew what to tell her to do. I have this under lying feeling that they are over because of her boyfriends parents. Have any of you ladies dealt with this?


Asked by Anonymous at 11:19 AM on Apr. 6, 2009 in Teens (13-17)

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Answers (12)
  • BTW, my reply was mostly directed at the poster above me who called someone a momma's boy because he didn't defend a mere gf to his mother.

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:23 PM on Apr. 6, 2009

  • My boyfriends parents at 15 told me I was white trash and their son deserved someone better. I never did anything to those people but my house wasn't "up to their standards". So they yelled and called me names. Called my mom and yelled at her even once. I married their son when we was 18. It's been years and they still wont talk to us or see their grandchildren. Some people are jerks and if it was meant to be, it works out, with or without the parents involved.

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:25 AM on Apr. 6, 2009

  • This is the first of many breakups she will go thru. Just listen to her and be there for her the best you can. I'm not there yet with my dd but I do remember being a teen and it is hard!

    Answer by ria7 at 11:28 AM on Apr. 6, 2009

  • So many other guys out there, and this one looks like it's headed for heartbreak, so just end it now and move on. It's not likely that she'll marry this guy, and if she does she'll have a built in stresser with her IL's. Encourage her to make a clean break, console her broken heart, and pick her back up and get her back in the swing of being a teen. So, end it before she gets pregnant and is stuck with these people as her child's grandparents who will likely talk badly about her when they have private visits with her - That's looking WAY ahead, but it's a clear "what-if" that needs to be addressed. Plus getting them out of her life will solve the problem of her feelings getting hurt - she'll be sad for a while, but bounce right back. Give her a big hug and teach her to set herself free from this sort of abusive behavior.

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:39 AM on Apr. 6, 2009

  • My 22yo son dated a girl when he was 17 and her mother totally disliked my son because he was Jewish. She did everything within their power to break them up and finally succeeded. The girl's dad loved my son, though, and could have cared less what religion he was. It happens. No one wants to stay in a relationship where the other family doesn't like them so it'ss best to just walk away and find someone who has a family that likes her.

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:08 PM on Apr. 6, 2009

  • My dd hasn't had to deal with this yet (fortunately), but I did when I was in high school. The mom of the boy I was dating absolutely hated me. She was rude and mean to me when I went over there, but his dad and siblings were always nice. We ended up breaking up and that was the main reason (though there were other reasons). He was too much of a mamma's boy and couldn't tell her to be nice to me, so I said bye-bye. Just be there for her if/when the breakup happens. She'll need someone to listen to her and to comfort her.


    Answer by anime_mom619 at 12:26 PM on Apr. 6, 2009

  • Sorry but if one of my high school sons stood up to me over a mere high school girlfriend there'd be hell to pay. I expect them to be their for their wives but if I don't like a gf, they respect my decision on that. People who may eventually join this family have to fit in to this family. I have met many girls who I did not like and my sons knew it. I called them all for what they were when they adted my sons. One is now a stripper (she was a skank when my son dated her, she used him because he had money), one cheated on my son and got pregnant by someone else (he didn't believe me when I said she was a sl-- but now he does), one is a compulsive liar and always has been and tried to trap my son by claiming to be pregnant even though she wasn't (she threw the pregnancy test away before anyone could even see it and then he realized that I was right and that she was a compulsive liar). Mom ALWAYS knows who is best for their sons.

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:52 PM on Apr. 6, 2009

  • I would feel bad for her too, but she really shouldn't be having a steady boyfriend when she's only 16. She needs to enjoy life instead of having her heart broken.

    Answer by summerdayz at 1:00 PM on Apr. 6, 2009

  • TO THE ANONYMOUS WHO SAID THAT MOM ALWAYS KNOWS WHO IS BEST FOR THEIR SONS...THE FATHER IS THE ONE WHO DOES NOT LIKE MY DD!!!!! Also thank you BUT no thank you for your opinion...It was absolutely usless

    The the other ladies. Thank you for the down to earth honest answers. I appreciate it.

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:08 PM on Apr. 6, 2009

  • Fathers know best too. Parents know when someone isn't right for their child/family.

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:15 PM on Apr. 6, 2009