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Am I wrong?

My husband wants to go on a hunting trip and it is out of state. I am fine with that part. The part I am not ok with is that he has a lady friend who is also an ex girlfriend who lives nearby where he is going to hunt. They have known eachother and have stayed friends for many many years. I am ok with their friendship. However, in between the hunting he wants to go spend a day with her and her husband and family because they have not seen eachother in a really long time. Naturally I am not going on this trip because he will be hunting and does not want to have to worry about me and plus we have a child that I need to take care of. I am kind of upset that he wants to go see this friend without me and I asked him to wait for a time where I could go too but he got mad and accused me of not trusting him which is not true and I explained to him that I feel disrespected by him doing that. Am I wrong? Am I over reacting?

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 3:29 PM on Apr. 6, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (12)
  • Well we all have our feelings and he should respect yours. Maybe you can come to a compromise, he will meet them for lunch or something, not just go to her house while her husband is at work. I think I would just make sure that yes her husband will be there, and that he wouldn't be hanging out at her house all day long.
    vabchmommy

    Answer by vabchmommy at 3:31 PM on Apr. 6, 2009

  • If you are ok with their friendship and her husband and family is there..what is the real problem??
    Dannee

    Answer by Dannee at 3:31 PM on Apr. 6, 2009

  • I wouldn't worry about it. Especially if she is married with children. I would let it go & tell hubby to have a blast. Would it make a difference if she was not an ex?
    samurai_chica

    Answer by samurai_chica at 3:32 PM on Apr. 6, 2009

  • Would he still be going on this out of state hunting trip if his old friend just happened to be away on vacation somewhere else during that time?

    I don't think you are wrong for being concerned about this. For all you know, the friend's husband could be gone somewhere hunting and it's just the two of them now drinking and talking about the old times......
    JustAMom2008

    Answer by JustAMom2008 at 3:33 PM on Apr. 6, 2009

  • I think it's fine as long as her family is with her. For the two of them to be alone I think that's inappropriate though. I can understand both sides to this one. I would probably be okay with it as long as they were not alone and her family was going to be around. Could you not meet up with them on that day and make it a double family thing?
    DDry

    Answer by DDry at 3:33 PM on Apr. 6, 2009

  • I agree with the lunch thing... or dinner/supper as long as her husband is present.
    He can say it's because you don't trust him, and maybe you don't... but I'm not sending my husband off for days without me and while he's gone, he's welcome to go hang out with one of his exes whether she's married or not (heck this site alone tells you lots of men and women cheat all the time).
    lisa_ann_p

    Answer by lisa_ann_p at 3:34 PM on Apr. 6, 2009

  • well i don't know...i say if you trust him then don't make a big deal about it. him thinking that you don't trust him can mess your relationship up...so that is a toughie. as for me, i wouldn't care if my husband went and saw an ex, i totally trust him, i know he loves me and wouldn't ever cheat on me.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:41 PM on Apr. 6, 2009

  • I like the idea of making it a dinner or lunch thing with her family. I wouldn't want my husband going to hang out w his ex in another state w/o me either (just feels weird thinking about it) but remind him that you have no problem with his trip or his ex that you would just prefer they meet up for a meal to do their catching up. you could even say something like 'if you do that she won't have to worry about cleaning the house just for your visit and can be relaxed and enjoy herself while you 2 catch up' and if he still doesn't get it turn the question around. ask him how hed feel about you going to hang out with your ex or having your ex over just to hang out and talk while he was out of state? it might change his perspective. it doesn't sound like a huge threat to your marriage but if it makes you uncomfortable he shouldn't do it.
    theheartbaby

    Answer by theheartbaby at 4:21 PM on Apr. 6, 2009

  • Let him go. It will show that you are secure and if the "in-evitable" was to happen it would have happened anyway. One thing I have learned in life is we cannot control anyone.. married or not people are going to do what they want to do..
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:33 PM on Apr. 6, 2009

  • how would he feel if it was turned around the other way if it was you going and meeting up with an old ex for a whole day?
    melody77

    Answer by melody77 at 5:02 PM on Apr. 6, 2009

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