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I'm new to asking these questions, but I had asked how old a girl usually is when she starts fixing her own hair & I've received several good answers and thought I might need to go into further detail so I could get advice.

My SD is 10 and has VERY unruly long hair, doesn't want to fix it herself (barely brushes it - definitely not in the back) & always wants me to put it in a ponytail - I keep telling her that she needs to start learning how to put it up herself. I wanted to make sure that I wasn't being too hard on her.... We had her this past weekend and AGAIN we go through the hair thing - I tried to help show her how to do it and told her I knew she could do it if she would just practice.... She ended up crying, then pouting for several hours (and of course, I had to put it up because we were going somewhere and we didn't want it looking so bushy).... We went through this same thing at about 7 when she wouldn't put her own socks on - yes, I know she was 7 or 8 before she would put her socks on by herself. I don't know if she's just lazy or wants to be pampered - I just don't get it and again, I'm wondering if I'm being too hard on her?

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Asked by LesaJ at 5:12 PM on Apr. 6, 2009 in Tweens (9-12)

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Answers (18)
  • To me, it sounds like she just doesn't value her appearance yet. I bet it will change when she starts getting interested in boys or being popular

    Answer by kabbot01 at 5:14 PM on Apr. 6, 2009

  • i dont think you're being too hard on her, i had a friend who had an 11 year old daughter who was hlaf spanish and half black and the girl would only brush the top layer and the bottom layer would be very knotty...

    i think they just dont understand yet

    Answer by aliciatron at 5:16 PM on Apr. 6, 2009

  • I say let her walk around like that for awhile. Make sure you tell her teacher and anyone else who might care if her hair is combed or not, that you are teaching her to comb her own hair.
    My little sister would not comb her hair by herself, at 12 my mom had had enough, so she let her go around without combing it. Within a week she was doing her own hair because her friends made fun of her. Sometimes peer pressure is a good thing.

    Answer by Nathskitten at 5:17 PM on Apr. 6, 2009

  • Well, the sock thing is a deffinite answer, YES, she should be able to put on her socks so dont give into that. That just shows you that she is looking for ways to talk you into doing things for her.

    But with that being said, if her hair is very long it might be a lot for her to handle.

    Why not go get a cute shorter cut that she could manage a little better. Get the stylist to show her how to fix it, since its easier to get kids to listen with other people sometimes. ;)

    Get her some cute barretts or clippies to put in it.

    Answer by mom2twobabes at 5:18 PM on Apr. 6, 2009

  • My daughter is going to be 7yrs this summer. She has been putting on her own socks and even dressing herself since she has been 2yrs old. Started picking out her own clothes and actually making sure it matched age 5 1/2-6yrs. My daughters hair isn't real long, But, it is to the middle of her back and she tries to brush it, but cannot get the very back.

    Answer by kathynej7142007 at 5:33 PM on Apr. 6, 2009

  • I went through the same thing with my daughter,it was a fight everyday with her long hair,but I give her a month to show me she would take better care of it,or atleaset try,she would'nt ,so I had it cut so she could,and she actually like it,and kept it fixed.

    Answer by Val504 at 5:50 PM on Apr. 6, 2009

  • around that age my hair was totally unruly so my mom would straighten it for me, but sometimes she didnt and it looked terrible but i would just put it up by the end of the summer my mom cut it all off shes a cosmotologist.

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:51 PM on Apr. 6, 2009

  • I can not remember when my kids started doing thier own hair, I think they were older then 10, if they wanted it up then they came to me, if they were leaving it down then they just left it alone. Know my youngest (5) will probably have me do it for a long time, it is long thick and curly so I am sure she may be in her teens before she is ready to do her own hair. I say relax a little, be patient and give it some time, it will happen when she can do it and feel comfortable.

    Answer by luckysevenwow at 6:59 PM on Apr. 6, 2009

  • A couple of suggestions:
    Since her hair is hard to care for, have you considered cutting it shorter? At least for now while she is learning to do her own grooming?
    Also, this is a really good book for helping girls learn to do different types of braids:

    Answer by kaycee14 at 7:35 PM on Apr. 6, 2009

  • My SD was 5 & had hair down to her butt. She was too young to take care of it herself but she screamed & cried whenever anyone combed her hair. I finally told her if she didn't stop fighting me, we would cut her hair. Finally, I did it--she ended up with an above the shoulder bob. It has been a year & a half & her hair is below her shoulders. She doesn't want it cut again so she knows she has to brush it herself twice a day & then let me brush it if she wants to keep it long.

    Answer by funnyface1204 at 9:55 PM on Apr. 6, 2009

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