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I need to know what others would do..

I am getting married in two months..but I am wondering if I am doing the right thing. I don't know if I really love him anymore. But I have three children, he is the father of one. I have been having second thoughts for a long time. His family is acholics and I think he is turing into one too. He drinks everyday like a 6 pack or more. He has been out of work for 7 months already and will not call his job to see what is going on. I know he still has a job, his last lay-off was 9 mos. He is home all day and doesn't do much cleaning, or pretty much nothing. I have asked him to order his credit report over 100 times and he still hasn't done that either. He goes out almost every friday to his friends or brothers. (I know he is not with another girl, I call all the time) but drinking. I NEVER get a night away. He does give my all his unemployment checks and supports the family. I do work too though. It just seems like I am not....

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 8:20 PM on Apr. 6, 2009 in Just for Fun

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Answers (18)
  • im in a marriage where im not in love with my husband. i wish i never married him. hes great, hes the best man a girl could ever want but hes not the one for me. if you're in doubt then i would think hes not the one for you
    aliciatron

    Answer by aliciatron at 8:32 PM on Apr. 6, 2009

  • great advice i ever got... DO NOT MARRY JUST BECAUSE YOU HAVE KIDS I got married after i had the kids because i loved my dh. If your not happy why be with someone your not happy with your kids will pick up on it. Plus if your married getting a divorce is hard work plus battles of kids and house and what nots. But if your happy go for it. i know your not right now just sit down and think can you be with this man forever.
    hope things go well for you.
    mama2twins07

    Answer by mama2twins07 at 8:22 PM on Apr. 6, 2009

  • When in doubt, leave it out.

    NO. DO NOT MARRY THIS PERSON.

    Get out on your own, concentrate on your kids.
    gdiamante

    Answer by gdiamante at 8:23 PM on Apr. 6, 2009

  • ... (poster) .. happy anymore. I have thoughts of calling off the wedding everyday!! I already have my dress, everything is booked and deposts made. Like I said he is a GREAT provider and GREAT too mine and our children. but there is nothing there on my end.
    We never has sex because I make excuses. His breath stinks (he does go to the densit every six months) and I ask him to brush his teeth at night but he says it takes to much time (kinda funny everyone in the house has time to do it though). He farts and fart and farts in front of me, were it is getting sicking.I just can't stand him anymore. But I know I can't and don't want to leave. any advice?? what would you ladies do.. NO BASHING PLEASE
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:25 PM on Apr. 6, 2009

  • mama2twins07View Profile
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    View Answers great advice i ever got... DO NOT MARRY JUST BECAUSE YOU HAVE KIDS I got married after i had the kids because i loved my dh. If your not happy why be with someone your not happy with your kids will pick up on it. Plus if your married getting a divorce is hard work plus battles of kids and house and what nots. But if your happy go for it. i know your not right now just sit down and think can you be with this man forever.
    hope things go well for you.

    Thank you, so some days I do want to other days like tonight.. while he is at his brothers drinking I hate him, it is like everytime he leaves I want to kill him. but when were home were fine. Maybe it is me. His friend said I have seperation anxity problems. My ex use to leave to go smoke crack, that could be the reason I am like I am. I don't know???
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:29 PM on Apr. 6, 2009

  • i would not marry into that
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 8:31 PM on Apr. 6, 2009

  • gdiamanteView Profile
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    View Answers When in doubt, leave it out.

    NO. DO NOT MARRY THIS PERSON.

    Get out on your own, concentrate on your kids

    I was on my own for 2 years before I meet him with two babies. I should of known when I met his father, and brothers. I guess acholisim runs in the family.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:32 PM on Apr. 6, 2009

  • aliciatronView Profile
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    View Answers im in a marriage where im not in love with my husband. i wish i never married him. hes great, hes the best man a girl could ever want but hes not the one for me. if you're in doubt then i would think hes not the one for you

    I wonder sometimes if my head is saying to marry for the support and not to be alone or if I do love him. But I guess if I do love him would I question if I don't?
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:34 PM on Apr. 6, 2009

  • To be honest: it sounds like your answering your own question here. This is not a bash at all. I wish you all the luck and prayers. Follow your gut. I think you just need a little push to do it.
    bristle3kids

    Answer by bristle3kids at 8:35 PM on Apr. 6, 2009

  • admckenzieView Profile
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    View Answers i would not marry into that

    marry into acholism?? My father was one I should of known but my mother stayed with him the whole time. He was a great provider. I know what I went though as a child,could never bring friends over because of the drinking and beer... do I really want to put my children though that too???
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:37 PM on Apr. 6, 2009

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