Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Help! My daughter is almost 6 and refuses to sleep in her own bed!! Any advice?

She has always slept in her bed really well until recently. Now she refused to sleep in her own bed and even throws a major tantrum when I tell her I want her to sleep in her own bed. She tells me that she is scared but when I ask her what she is scared of, she says she doesn't know. I've offered to leave the door open, leave a small light on, bribery...seemingly everything. Now I am turning to you guys for help. Thanks!!!

Answer Question

Asked by rachelsmommy142 at 9:15 PM on Apr. 6, 2009 in School-Age Kids (5-8)

Level 1 (0 Credits)
Answers (7)
  • I don't know, I haven't tried to get mine to sleep anywhere but with me - I may not be much help.

    Could you put a little sleeping bag and pillow at the foot of your bed for a while, so that she can be near you but not actually in the bed with you? If she's been sleeping on her own for a while now, it seems like she's probably going through a bit of a rough patch and maybe trying to offer some extra security and comforting can help her get through it.

    Has anything in her life changed? New teacher, new friend, a move, friend moved, new sibling, parent laid off... anything? It's really normal for a child to cling a bit more during times of uncertainty and stress - riding it out would probably be more helpful in the long run towards helping her be the confident, independent adult we all want our kids to become. Unmet needs never go away.


    Answer by Collinsky at 9:23 PM on Apr. 6, 2009

  • I had this challenge with my daughter I will tell you my solution however you may not want this one or you may be able to alter it to fit your needs. My daughter would end up in the middle of my bed everynight. She kicked off the covers and would turn sideways & I was done for the night.

    We were looking for a small dog anyway since our dog had passed on. We got a small dog & gave it to her & told her this was her bed buddy & she did not have to be afraid anymore.
    She has never been back in my bed to sleep. She was 5 at the time. About a week after getting the puppy my daughter came to me and asked "Does she have to sleep with me?" I said no & from that night on the dog sleeps in her kennel at night.

    I think they need to know it is going to be ok. Finding something that will be a companion was the last thing for me to try. I did everything from laying in her bed until she fell asleep, threatened her & so on good luck.

    Answer by LegacyKimberley at 9:31 PM on Apr. 6, 2009

  • the little girl i use to nanny put it perfectly why should she have to sleep by herself when mommy and daddy sleep together. so she got a dog. wked great. cats wk 2

    Answer by kmsmommy430 at 10:31 PM on Apr. 6, 2009

  • My husband and I have no problem sharing our bed as long as our children start out in their own beds and fall asleep. When my oldest was almost 4 we had a problem similar to yours (without the scared of something problem he just wanted one of us to go to bed with him in his bed). I tried letting him scream, took toys, coaxing, bribing, etc. The taking toys worked (but only after too much crying). Finally I realized the only thing he really wanted was for me to go to bed with him so I told him that if he went to sleep by himself for 5 nights and did not cry about it. I would sleep with him on the 6th night. I made a star chart and gave him an extra star the first night so it wouldn't be so long until he got me. He never cried after that. It was amazing. After about 3 months he started to forget to remind me to put the stars up so things went longer (9 or 10 nights) before I slept with him and then he totally forgot.

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:13 PM on Apr. 6, 2009

  • good luck let me know what works mine is 8!

    Answer by mrssullivan at 3:16 AM on Apr. 7, 2009

  • IF you don't want her sleeping in your bed, don't start it because it is harder to break once you get started. Some parents don't mind it but I didnt get much sleep when my kids slept in my bed (I would be squashed or they would toss and turn). I like the stuffed animal and being consistent. There are also some good books about going to bed or being scared of the dark which might be a good thing to read together over and over before she goes to bed.  You could also get the audio books to play so that she could listen without watching TV and it would take her mind off the "scary thing"  Here is a link for the listening library


    Answer by momjs at 11:09 AM on Apr. 7, 2009

  • IF you don't want her sleeping in your bed, don't start it because it is harder to break once you get started.

    read the post again, they didn't start out with family bed.. and that's not even TRUE, it's NOT always impossible or hard to transition a kid from a family bed to their own room.


    Answer by autodidact at 11:36 AM on Apr. 7, 2009

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.