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heres a doozy... SOMEONE PLEASE HELP ME!!!!!!!

I have a 3 1/2 year old daughter been potty trained since she was 2 1/2 but she refuses to poop in the toilet!!!!! its so bad she holds it in Im assuming because it hurts her cause when she finally goes her BM's are soo big that they plug up our toilet!! we have tried laxatives, stool softeners, suppository's, activia, live cultures, drinks the yogart, EVERYTHING homeopathic!! she holds it in and screams bloody murder when she cant hold it in ne more. ive been to the doc they say it's *normal* but now im having problems with her health insurance so im in the process of getting her a new pediatrician. i dont think it's the constipation i think she's holding it in which makes her constipated and increases the pain. her BM's are the color of normal BM's not dark like it would be in constipation... this has been going on for almost a year! my patience are non existant! this lasts for hours I can't spend all day in the bathroom!!!


Asked by Kayla7 at 11:00 PM on Apr. 6, 2009 in Preschoolers (3-4)

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Answers (12)
  • She's caught in a horrible cycle - it hurts to poop so she refuses to poop - which makes the poop bigger - which makes it hurt more - so she holds it long - etc, etc, etc.

    We've been battling the same thing for over a year and it is actually fairly common. My doctor had us do a couple of things:
    (1) Start her on a daily dose of Miralax (1/2 the adult dose). This is NOT a laxative. It simply keeps the poop from getting big and hard, no matter how long she holds it. It does not cause cramps, it does not make her go, and long term use is fine - all unlike regular laxatives.
    (2) Combat the fear. We got the books "Everyone Poops" and "It Hurts When I Poop" and read them to her almost daily. Every time she went, we talked about how it did NOT hurt to go (obviously once it wasn't hurting anymore).

    Over months, her fear eased and she began going twice a daily fairly easily. We are finally ready to try the potty.

    Answer by kaycee14 at 11:10 PM on Apr. 6, 2009

  • sometimes she's constipated cause she will go 3 to 5 days with out pooping... and she has had problems with pooping ever since she was born.

    Answer by Kayla7 at 11:01 PM on Apr. 6, 2009

  • do you think that shes scared of the toilet? i was scared of the toilet flushing when i was a little kid

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:03 PM on Apr. 6, 2009

  • My previous boyfriend gave his daughter coalace.... it helped her. Start rewarding her for pooping? I wish I could help more!!

    Answer by 4theLoveofLovey at 11:04 PM on Apr. 6, 2009

  • My son went through this when he was 2 years and 4 months He held it in because ONE time it hurt coming out. He ended up getting so backed up he was admitted to the hospital. While he was there he needed 4 enemas :( Because he was so backed up and compacted, it stretched out his colon (rectum, whatever). We had to give him Miralax in his juice everyday for a loooooong time to keep it soft. Eventually, what stretched out shrank back down to normal and he goes normally. It was like he had lost his sensitivity and by the time it hurt and he thought to go, it was too large to push out!

    You can get Miralax OTC now. We gave it once a day everday to keep him comfortable.

    Answer by ReneeK3 at 11:04 PM on Apr. 6, 2009

  • Change her diet. Change everything that she is eating asap. See how she does once you do and gradually add more things into her diet so you can figure out what is causing it. To much dairy will actually plug her up and make her poop hard. Start her on a soup diet with veggies in it. If nothing changes then it may be a medical problem.


    Answer by legalmommy101 at 11:04 PM on Apr. 6, 2009

  • try a teaspoon of caro syrup in her drink, should make the stools softer so they don't hurt as much. or castor oil. when you do get insurance have her checked. dh had the same problem as a child and eventually it led to him having major issues as a teen (dont tell i told but he would actually have an accident in his pants on occasion b/c he couldnt control it since he had messed up the muscles as a child, and had to have surgery) so def have her tummy/intestines checked out to make sure everythings moving along ok

    Answer by vabchmommy at 11:06 PM on Apr. 6, 2009

  • Pears are really good for softening things up. They are gentler than apple juice (it's acidic) and taste better than prunes. Try fresh pears or pear juice (found in the baby food area).

    Answer by ReneeK3 at 11:07 PM on Apr. 6, 2009

  • I don't think she is scared of the toilet:) cause she will pee no problem. I have changed her diet, she eats all kinds of foods that help her poop easier, bananas yogart fiber up the wazooo I don't think that it's her diet i think it's her mental. I've been giving her pedialaz stool softeners but that might not be enough thank you soo much for your suggestions.

    Answer by Kayla7 at 11:10 PM on Apr. 6, 2009

  • And ReneeK is right - if constipation issues go on too long, it cause physical changes in the bowel and the child literally can not tell they have to go.

    Laxatives, suppositories, and enemas will cause more pain as they force her muscles to contract and push the poop out. Think of labor pains or horrible gas pains every single time you have to poop. Long term use of these will also weaken those same muscles - odd but true.

    Try a 1/2 dose of Miralax every day - about 2.5 teaspoons. You can mix it in any fluid. Adjust the dose up or down a tiny bit at a time until you find the dose that keeps her poop soft. If I miss even one dose, I can tell within 24 hours.

    Answer by kaycee14 at 11:15 PM on Apr. 6, 2009