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What would you do?

My cousin is pregnant and doesnt know if she should keep it. Her guy is older and already has grown kids. she is 29. She has already had an abortion yrs ago and didnt want to do it again. She works for a good company but is just about six months in. Her guy is not getting married anytime soon in fact I believe he has already been married. My cousin and her guy have been together longer than me and my husband which is 10 yrs. We have lil family and hardly anyone to help us with are kids or help us out when were in need. My cousin called me to ask what she should do ofcourse I cant make the decision for her but I would like to help. She wanted a baby a few yrs ago but didnt feel she was were she needed to be to have one. Her guy is not gone to be there all the time it would be a strain on her relationship. He is 15 years older than her that makes him about 44. If you were 29 and facing being a single mother with lil help WWYD?

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 12:32 AM on Apr. 7, 2009 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (9)
  • Being a mother-single or not-is totally worth it. Even married women don't always have help-(it's no secret that some men are worthless) so don't think that not being married makes it impossible! If she has a good job then she's already better off than some moms. I don't think money should ever be a deciding factor in having a baby anyway- a kid can get over growing up poor. What they CAN'T get over is growing up knowing they weren't wanted. I've seen plenty of broke little kids who were HAPPY because their parents showed they loved and wanted them. I've also seen rich kids who are UNhappy children because their parents did not. Tell her to think about what she is able to provide for this baby emotionally, rather than monetarily.
    shelleyv

    Answer by shelleyv at 1:13 AM on Apr. 7, 2009

  • If it were me, i'd keep it. But I am also pro choice. It's her choice.

    legalmommy101

    Answer by legalmommy101 at 12:36 AM on Apr. 7, 2009

  • I think she should seriously consider the child for a moment if she knows it will be a struggle and the father wont be there she should look into giving the child to a couple who could provide for it. She could pick the parents and even have an open adoption where she could even see the child possibly.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:36 AM on Apr. 7, 2009

  • i would have the baby or find a really good home for it if i absolutley didnt want or was not able to take care of it...
    lilysmommy1408

    Answer by lilysmommy1408 at 12:37 AM on Apr. 7, 2009

  • I would keep it. She already has had an abortion, its risky to have another one. It will be hard to do it alone but it is not impossible.
    maimutsa

    Answer by maimutsa at 12:39 AM on Apr. 7, 2009

  • Here problem is not financial. she wont always have a babysitter. her mom cant help her. her guy wont always be there I know she wants this baby but do you pick a relationship first. Im not saying he wont be there financially but to help with diaper changes and late nights or just watching the babby to let her get some rest. Is being a single mom all that bad. If you are a single mom is it worth not having the baby
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:48 AM on Apr. 7, 2009

  • wow well there is nothing wrong with being a single mom at all, personally have two kids by myself and i do fine.. It can be hard if you arent whiling to work hard.. but its doable.. i dont see if she can take care of it, why give it away.. i mean if you arent ready and you dont have away of taking care of the child then i could see giving it up but mm doesnt sound like thats the problem..
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:53 AM on Apr. 7, 2009

  • I would be selfish and say fuck it keep it because I would. This would be her first and the guy is only going to get older. She wants to be with him. They Have been together a long time. But why wait if your situation wont change. She works a rotating shift thats a problem because she wolud have no one to watch the baby. She may make to much to any state assistance. Here guy makes it seem like why have a baby when you have no one and the economy is bad and you just started your job. Tells here to wait till she can have a set schedule.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:01 AM on Apr. 7, 2009

  • At 19 i was a single mom with my son and granted times were tough but i got through it. We can't really tell her what to do but it's not impossible to take care of a child while being single. If I were her I would keep it because i personally could never get rid of any of my children. I know everyone is different so if she really just thinks she wouldn't possibly be able to take care of it I second the adoption choice. There are a lot of good people out there that can't have children and would love it just like their own. Good luck I know it will all work out for the best in the end. Hope this helps a little....
    jnsdrf

    Answer by jnsdrf at 1:03 AM on Apr. 7, 2009