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ODD (oppositional defiance disorder)

Has anyone dealt with this? My daughter is almost 9 and is out of control. She is on my last nerve and is disrupting the harmony of our entire family. At first I just thought she was a brat but someone said it sounded like ODD and she fits pretty much every criteria. The only thing she doesn't fit is she isn't defiant with her teachers and friends (that I've seen) other then some small stuff like refusing to do extra credit and not caring if she doesn't do her homework.
She lies, steals, does anything to make me mad, cries about everything, throws tantrums worse then a 2yo. She hits her brother and sisters, refuses to do anything we ask her (like chores) and blames us when she gets in trouble. She also suffers with major social anxiety to the point she refused to go to a bday party for some really good friends because she was terrified. Everyone in the house is on edge all the time and she ruins ever family function.


Asked by justanotherjen at 1:07 AM on Apr. 7, 2009 in Kids' Health

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This question is closed.
Answers (7)
  • Hi, I'm Kristin, the one Marie was reffering to: Anyway, if you are indeed dealing with ODD & it sounds like you are, it is harsh and not fun BUT there are methods to use that will help your family. The reason your daugher is "not giving friends/teachers problems" is she is manipulating them into believing you and DH are all wrong and she's right and cannot get a break. Maniuplation is HUGE with ODD. She IS defying other people, it's just being done in more subtle ways. She is going to need psychotropic meds to control her and this will allow your life to get back to the way it was before. It won't "cure" this but will control it. My best advice is to NOT settle for a therapist/psychiatrist who is going to make the rest of the family adjust to your daughter. Find one that is going to make your daughter adjust to the family and the real world. PM me anytime for more info and any questions you have!

    Answer by Kristin21 at 11:28 AM on Apr. 7, 2009

  • I can't handle it any more. I'm stressed out and I strained a vocal chord yelling at her because she won't listen at all unless you are screaming in her face. She just ignores you if you use a regular voice even if you are looking her right in the eyes.
    I'm tired of the lies (she lies about everything and then laughs when she gets caught because it's no big deal) but then when she gets punished she throws a tantrum and throws things, screams and takes it out on her siblings.
    A few weeks ago she was supposed to be cleaning her room with her brother and got mad because she didn't want to and dropped a heavy toy on his head then blamed him for it because he didn't do what she said and then cried when he retaliated like she is some victim. He's afraid to be alone with her, her sister doesn't want to play with her, and I don't want to be around her.
    I told my husband we have to get her evaluated because she is getting violent.

    Answer by justanotherjen at 1:11 AM on Apr. 7, 2009

  • My friend Kristin is dealing with ODD with her almost five year old. I'll see if she has any info that will help.

    Answer by roachiesmom at 1:27 AM on Apr. 7, 2009

  • Yeah, I think you need to talk to some kind of therapist. Have you talked to any doctors about it? I feel so bad for you.

    Answer by flowrchild77 at 10:56 AM on Apr. 7, 2009

  • My husband said today that he will make an appt with the pediatrician to get a referral to a specialist because we are all at the end of our ropes (not just the adults but the other kids, too). Someone in this house is going to snap and it isn't going to be pretty.

    Answer by justanotherjen at 11:17 AM on Apr. 7, 2009

  • You might want to look at  This might be an avenue that can help you.  Let me know if you are interested. or want more info.


    Answer by jmcan at 3:17 PM on Apr. 7, 2009

  • Kristin had really great advice. My nephew has this, along with other conditions. With a lot of therapy, and the right meds, he is doing great now at 15 years old. My sister also got help from a phyciatrist to teach her how to handle the discipline and day to day challenges in a way that would benefit both of them.


    Answer by sammygrl77 at 6:17 PM on Apr. 7, 2009