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does society make you feel materialistic and not deserving of motherhood because you are not a sahm?

its funny how sahm defend their choice by demonising working they really,really think working moms 'pay someone to raise their kids?'

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Asked by Anonymous at 10:02 AM on Apr. 7, 2009 in General Parenting

Answers (14)
  • I am what I like to call a "stay at home working mom." I work in the afternoon after my husband gets home and watches the kids.

    I think that most SAHM's don't feel harshly towards working mothers. I think the media puts the outspoken SAHM's on T.V. to cause a sensation.

    I don't think most mothers care how you do it - as long as you're doing it well and your kids are taken care of appropriately.

    Answer by lrobles1983 at 10:12 AM on Apr. 7, 2009

  • I do sometimes feel bashed or belittled by SAHMs because I am not one myself. Some of the remarks are pretty mean spirited. However, sometimes I feel like some of the SAHMs are just doing it to defend their choice because they are feeling belittled or bashed too. It's sad really that either group feels the need to attack the other's choices; we are ALL Moms!

    Answer by TweenAndTwinMom at 10:14 AM on Apr. 7, 2009

  • I for one, have been a stay at home mom for twentyfive years and I've never dissed moms who work outside the home. I still have kids at home, 2. You shouldn't feel guilty by working outside your home. You need to be the mom you want to be in side the home and outside the home, it's all working. Many outside working moms have told me personally that they could never, actually, bear to stay home with their kids day after day. They or their kids would never survive!!! Don't feel guilty about working out side of your home, you're a mom like me you just do better financially or emotionally working outside your home and stay at home moms are expertise in their jobs raising their own kids and sometimes other kids they watch, in their homes. They're all jobs no matter
    which job we all have!! Some jobs have higher pay than other, some less, some jobs are volunteer jobs. A stay at home mom has no pay but insurance thu partner.

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:18 AM on Apr. 7, 2009

  • irobles,i asked because there is a question like that from a sahm,asking if society looks down on them.and some of the answers i found offensive as a working mom.i wondered whether any other moms are made to feel less 'motherly'because they work?

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:19 AM on Apr. 7, 2009

  • No. I am quite accomplished as a career woman, wife, friend, and most of all as a mother. I don't need validation for my choices.

    Answer by kara_g. at 10:35 AM on Apr. 7, 2009

  • I've been both and am curently a SAHM. I have gotten no flack from anyone about either. I am comfortable being home and if I come accross someone who thinks I'm not doing what I should be..I let them have than oppinion. At the end of the day, when I lay my head on my pillow both myself and my Husband know we have made the right choice for our family and that's all that matters to me. If you have to work outside the home...or you just want to that is your choice and NO ONE has the right to look down on anyone for their choices. Different strokes for different folks I say.

    Answer by happyathomemum at 10:50 AM on Apr. 7, 2009

  • Most SAHM's don't put Working moms down. Just like most Working moms don't put SAHM's down. There are moms in both groups who are insecure and feel guilty about the choices they have made so they are critical and rude to those who made a different choice. I ignore them. I love being home with my son. I chose that we have an income that allows us to do what we want. If we needed me to work to continue our lifestyle I would. I don't see what the big deal is. Work if you have to or want to or stay home if you can afford it. Live your life and be content. We all made choices on how we want to live and need to stop caring what others think.


    Answer by Anonymous at 11:13 AM on Apr. 7, 2009

  • Sorry did not mean to post 8:13

    Answer by momtoonecuteboy at 11:13 AM on Apr. 7, 2009

  • No, I really don't. There are a lot of working moms in my area. If I didn't work, we would be homeless and starving.

    Answer by tyfry7496 at 11:28 AM on Apr. 7, 2009

  • I don't see that. I'm a sahm, but I feel guilty about it. If the circumstances were right I'd love to be working and "pulling my weight".

    Then I look at my circumstances. Dh works long hours, my youngest is 14mos and actively bfing and I don't respond to a pump nor am I willing to fight with a job to let me try to pump a pitiful drop or two for him. I also don't want to leave dh on his own with the kids every afternoon after he gets home from work if we don't have to.

    I feel that I could easily do school when the boys are in school, and when I finish and get my cnm, there will only be an hour or so where I'd be unavailable for work, and I'm sure I could work something out with one of the neighbors so long as we're in the same house we're in now as there are a lot of nice families I'm getting on familiar terms with now.

    Answer by NinjaMomma at 11:43 AM on Apr. 7, 2009

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